I am a thirty something married gay boy living in Sydney, almost on top of the gay scene but not in it!
Why Sometimes blue?, because I love blue, but also I am sometimes blue :)
more about drew
I have a love hate relationship with Monday Mornings, not because I have mondayitits and don't want to go to work. No more because I know how much I have to get done in a week and just how little time I have to do it all!
I have signed on a couple of very large and potentially very lucrative clients for the company and have been busy teaching myself new things like App development for the iPhone, iPad and Android markets.
I only managed two gym sessions last week, but I did get a hold of my new Fiscia sensor so I can properly monitor the intensity of working out.
Sheesh I have to tell you I thought I was training hard, but according to the actual results I was only 'moderately' training.
It sure goes to show why somethings having the right tools really helps.
So now onward and upward for the week.
Two fortune cookies this week have both told me that something big I have wanted is going to happen and happen soon.
I hope this means that my strategy that seems to be working really starts to take off out of the stratosphere!
Keep your bloggy fingers crossed for me
BTW I am pretty sure that the picture is London Preppy taken off of GWIP
I have been caning myself at the gym of late pushing myself with huge cardio workouts.
I finally got round to replacing the battery in my Polar Heart Rate Monitor, but guess what the bugger is stuffed, and after doing some research have decided that it's not worth getting fixed and instead have been looking at new ideas for monitoring heart rate and workout intensity.
It's important for me because I have no real idea of the actual intensity I work out at unless I Can see my heart rate and use this to push myself!
What I wanted was an Iphone integrated solution, because let's face it I take the phone everywhere and use it at the gym for music anyway, so in my desire to limit the number of devices I found DigiFit.
It's a very cool idea, its a small plug in receiver and iPhone App that gets the heart rate signals from a compatible strap monitor.
it's all very simple and in total less than $100 USD for the app, heart rate monitor and iphone plug.
Only problem it's not available in Australia yet!
BUGGER
I have been reading a whole lot of late about the arguments for an against calorie counting and it's a really interesting read.
It's well established that you can lose weight by limiting the amount of calories you eat, 1kg of weight requires 7500 calorie deficit - this article says it all.
For my age and lifestyle without exercise my basal metabolic rate is around 2200 calories a day, so to lose a kg of fat I would need to burn an extra 1000 calories every day for a week. That's a huge undertaking.
I was reading about the whole argument against calorie counting and more about eating a less processed less red meat diet high in fruit, vegetables, nuts and grains.
Personally I want a good balance, I like a drink, I like my food, so I want a balance between it all.
At my age I don't feel the need to have the perfect body, but I do want to be fit and make sure I am looking after my body and my health.
Jack Swift lost his leg in a work accident a couple of years ago and rather than curl up and admit defeat he decided to become a Personal Trainer and has even been voted a Cleo Bachelor of the year Finalist.
I have had one of those weeks where simple things have been misinterpreted by people and what should be a simple little recognition of being caught out turned into something bigger than ben hur!
The change from daylight saving has had a impact on my poor body and I have been dragging my ass half asleep for a while LOL.
But I have managed to get to the gym a couple of times this week to start attacking my "space saver tire" as I call my extra inch around the waist.
I saw this underwear on Daily Jocks (and oh god he is hot!) and looked at that body and went I have no hope in hell of getting there, but I do have a hope in hell of getting trim and taut again :)
Wow almost seven months of not blogging, which is amazing for me since I used to love blogging.
Sooooooo much has happened in the last few months.
The huge thing in my life was the death of my mother who had been going down hill for the last several years.
I thought it was going to be easier since in many ways with her dementia she hadn't really been 'here' for quite a while. But the roller coaster of emotions I have been going through have been huge.
On other news:
I gave up smoking in early January and am still off the fags (well the cigarettes anyway LOL)
Work is hellishly busy but there is also some upside as well
I have been dreadful and have still not properly gotten back into the gym, I am going but just not as dedicated as I once was.
I am considering taking down a whole lot of this site and redoing it but removing the galleries etc. I still get loads of traffic but I am not sure I want to continue paying every month for the huge bandwidth this site gets.....
The last few weeks have seen a considerable improvement in my mother's mental state of health.
The medications they have given her are making her sleep through the night and she is no longer on the roller coaster of acute anxiety ridden deliriums.
This along with all the community services has meant that she is still at home being looked after by Dad, my sister and a whole lot of different people that come in at various times of the day and week.
Whilst she no longer needs acute dementia care right this very moment, the time will come and we still have to move forward and find somewhere for her.
It's a damn tough call really, she could go downhill incredibly quickly again and this time the ride down could be even worse.
My preference is to find her a place now rather than later, but my sister doesn't want to do that until there is no way at all she can cope at home.
I understand her point of view, mum seems OK (well as OK as someone with dementia can be) an things seem to be controlled at the moment.
But looks can be deceiving and I am not convinced that dad is coping at all, nor do I think my sister is coping either.
On the work front we released the major new software upgrade and have started the task of upgrading or install base.
So far we have done about 5% of clients and so far we have found about 15 minor bugs and 4 major bugs in the code. It's a bugger but no matter how much you test applications on a dev environment you will always find bugs and issues when it's being used by the great unwashed masses out there in user land (IE the clients).
The initial feedback to the new version has been very positive though and is making our work lives a lot easier.
We have been having a few issues with a couple of clients in the last few weeks. I really struggle with wanting to make all my clients happy. But sometimes you just have to take a long walk and look at the real situation in a cold and rather clinical way.
Do they make you money?
Are you losing money with them?
Will giving them something for nothing will you get something back?
Remember in my business we charge for our time, experience and skills alongside charging for our software. Software is a funny thing though, you spend thousands of hours building applications on the promise that people want it and will buy it.
Then you sell it and recoup the investment you made and make a return on that time you put in to building it.
Clients often don't get this fact, many of them simply think that because the software exists already they shouldn't have to pay for it, nor should they have to pay for enhancements that only they want.
Two issues that I face with many clients is with the speed of technological change.
They don't want to pay to upgrade their sites or systems to reflect new technology changes and they threaten and try to bully into getting these changes for nothing.
I had a really awkward heated argument with a client last week on just one of these issues and in the end I lost my cool. It was cringe worthy on my behalf but at the end of the day I had to stop being nice and think carefully about my business.
I am a very fair person to my client's - probably more so than I really need to be.
But in this case I looked critically at the situation and realized I am not getting anything out of this relationship. To continue to support them is actually costing me time, and my time is definitely money. They have been told they have to pay but they refuse to pay for valid work.
On the up side of the last few weeks I have just made a formal offer to a new sales person and I am waiting for their acceptance of the offer.
They are totally unlike my other staff hires. This one is significantly older with what I hope will be a strong work ethic.
I am pretty emotionally work out right now and need an emotional break to regroup and visualize my goals and strategize where I am going and what I want.
I am not great at taking time out, but in the coming weeks I am going to do just that and re do my personal and professional action plan.
It's been ages since I posted last and there have been very good reasons.
The last month and a half have been very full on filled with stress and more stress.
My mother's dementia took a nose dive a few weeks back ending up back in hospital. Leading up to this her night time wanderings had got a lot worse, setting a small fire in the kitchen at 2 in the morning and having several small falls.
She became quite delusional and her grasp on any form of reality or common sense practically flew out the window.
The worst part for her and us has been the ever present confusion and associated anxiety. Her anxiety and confusion got so bad that she was in a right state and my poor father who looks after her was simply teetering on the edge of not coping at all.
She has been assessed as requiring secure dementia care and we are in the process of finding her a specialist aged care facility that can take her.
Dealing with all of this plus the anxiety of my sister has taken a huge toll on me mentally and physically.
There is so much to do and learn about all the ins and outs of aged care requirements and facilities. The paperwork is monstrous alone!
The gym has been thrown out the window of late, in between working at a huge pace, having to take off significant amounts of time to visit my mother and attend different doctors meetings with her and the family has taken all the emotional and mental strength I can find.
Couple that with starting a new staff member at the start of August and then yesterday having to terminate them for non performance it's just been a total bitch of a month and a half.
We have been lucky enough to also have some time off during this period, going to Port Douglas for a couple of days for a break (although work never quite stopped every day) and then last weekend going to the Gold Coast for a friends university graduation ceremony.
I am almost finished a major and I really mean major software upgrade to the main piece of software my company sells and should have this huge update ready to go by the end of this week which is very exciting.
It also means that once it's finished and all the bugs are ironed out I can focus back on other parts of the business and be a little less stressed with work.
Mind you having let go of the new staff member I need to find a replacement and I need to find a replacement quickly.
I still cannot believe just how tough it is to find engaged and stable employees, it's a bloody struggle and seems to be the biggest challenge of my business.
But I will soldier on and meet my goals, I just now need to get back to the objectives of quitting smoking and getting healthy again which is a real driving force for me.
Not sure when I will post again, I have a feeling I might have another burst of posting energy at the moment though, but who knows what tomorrow or even today will bring.
Unless you live under a rock or don't read any news media the Californian Overturning of Proposition 8 has ignited the conservatives like nothing else.
The vitriol and hatred that is being spewed forth is just astounding (but not suprising) and I chuckle at some of the baseless and extreme views.
In one the many news articles I read during the weekend the comments from readers were fast and furious.
It's important to understand the core arguments against gay marriage to be able to rebuff them.
1) Homosexuality is a choice
I think by now all of us are aware that we have no choice in being gay, whether it's genetic, environmental or something else, we have as much choice as a person has choice of the eye color they are born with.
2) Marriage is sacred religious institution
Marriage is not religious, it is a legal contract between two consenting people.
3) Marriage is about procreation
Marriage is not about procreating otherwise people who are unable to have children would not be able to get married.
4) Children need a mother and a father
Countless studies have proven that children raised in same sex relationships are no worse off and in some cases are better off than in opposite sex relationships
5) Allowing same sex marriage will lead to allow pedophilia and bestiality and people marrying goats and horses.
This by far is the most ridiculous and stupid argument, the issue here is of CONSENT, two people getting married have CONSENT, children and animals do not have consent and because of this lack of consent child abuse and bestiality is abhorrent and insulting.
Sure there are so many other arguments that can be debunked but it's amazing how many times anti gay red necks use these arguments against us in our fight for equality.
I finished last week with my targeted three workouts, two of them were great and really powerful, while my last was quite wimpy and lacking energy.
This week so far I have not had the time to get to the gym.
I have a new staff member at work and have been working longer hours as a result. But I am intending to still get at least three workouts in.
It's been one of those weeks where no matter how much you think you are getting on top of things, other things just pop up and take away time!
I am thinking of taking a couple of pictures of my body as it is right now, I am not sure if I will blog them but I might, let's just see if I can get the courage.
Or maybe it's what I need to keep me motivated by baring all (well not all LOL) and actually seeing my progress.
It is hard though trying to find the time when I have the energy to fit in a long workout trying to juggle everything that goes on in life.
I am seriously thinking about trying to get to the gym in the mornings before I go to work, that way it is done for the day and work doesn't then get in the way.
My Facebook commenting has been alive with a very humorous story the last twenty four hours.
The wife of a friend works in a private Catholic Boys high School and yesterday she found an empty condom package in the school library and of course twittered to Facebook her unusual find.
Ah there are so many things to say at this point and the comments from here friends and myself are running thick and wild!
At least they are having safe sex in the library LOL
I did have a look at her friends list and she has some very hot boys who have left school in the last few years.
Ah the fantasy of 18 year old private school boys getting it on in the school library!
Gold!
Mind you with all the media attention of the Catholic Church with gay priests and molestation accusations you hope it's the boys and not the priests!
As I get older the visible signs of aging become more apparent (doesn't that sound like an advert for moisturizers?).
Apart from my new zeal for the gym it's also that time of life that you seriously start to think about reversing some of the signs of aging.
One of the big issues I have is thinning hair and I have been taking propecia for several years to stop the good old hair from falling out. With great results, before taking it I was significantly thinning on top, but these days I do have a lot more hair.
Mind you if I started it much sooner I may have even more hair, but live and learn I suppose.
Up until a few years ago I used to keep my hair bleached blond (or at least highlighted) but stopped when my hair became thin and have never really gone back.
I do miss being a blond instead of a mousy brown, but the issue is now the grey hair is starting to show more and more.
Our first adopted child with the subtlety of a sledgehammer told me I should be putting a colour rinse through my hair to get rid of the blond streaks.
I didn't pay that much attention at the time but then I asked second adopted child and he suggested that maybe I should too.
I don't know about this, while I was young it was cool to colour my hair, but now I am frightened of being that old guy with the greying roots and unnatural hair colour.
Everyone knows one of those guys they see out there with a deep dark coloured hair but the roots show a totally different story.
The 2nd child and I got into a discussion about aging gracefully or disgracefully. And I said that I wanted to age with class like George Clooney who has great salt and pepper hair.
His response was "you don;t think he's hard other work done?"
Good point I suppose!
We are all mindful of our visible age as opposed to our actual age.
Depending on the day of the week I can look my age to look ten years younger. My skin is relatively wrinkle free (until I smile ) from using moisturizer on my skin since I was a teenager.
I tried botox a few months ago and will definitely have more even if the 2nd child told me I had creepy stare all the time, I just think I need to get some more and learn not to have creep look LOL.
I have been bleaching my teeth the last few weeks and am enjoying the results.
But the rinse through the hair is one that has me stumped, really stumped!
I don't want to try and look like a youngster I just want to look good for my age, and be age appropriate.
I have always said to myself I would not say no to a bit of a face tuck if I could be guaranteed of natural results and not end of looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein.
An old friend had some face work done a couple of years ago and it looked great. It was just the bags under his eyes removed some minor tightening and some skin peeling. And hey presto he looked 10 - 15 years younger.
Granted he was looking older than he was, but the results were great.
He even tried a hair rinse, but I think he got the wrong colour and ended up with dark black hair which looked kind of ridiculous on him.
So should we age gracefully like Katheryn Hepburn or should we pull out all the stops like Demi Moore?
I am a thirty something married gay boy living in Sydney, almost on top of the gay scene but not in it!
Why Sometimes blue?, because I love blue, but also I am sometimes blue :)
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