The boy and I were having dinner with our LA mate and some of his friends who we also know during the last week and in conversation my anxiety issues came up.
I don't hide the fact that I have issues surrounding panic and anxiety, and find that talking about it actually helps to address the issue. One of the really interesting discussions that started about this was differentiating between physical and mental things which can trigger anxiety.
Part of my problem is that I have trained myself to consider tiny normal physical changes such as a slight dizziness, spacing out, being stressed etc as a precursor to being anxious or having a panic attack.
What I am teaching myself is that the small physical feelings are just that, physical things which are perfectly normal and not a precursor to an anxiety or panic attack.
It's about two years since I actually had a full on 'panic attack' and I've never actually had another real panic attack, more like I've had high levels of physical discomfort which I have interpreted as about to have a panic attack.
But back to this whole concept of physical versus cognitive, over the weekend and today my body is in fight or flight mode. I'm not anxious as such nor am I having a panic attack or under undue stress or pressure.
In fact my mind is quite at equilibrium and I'm quite excited by work and what I am getting up to, but my physical body is at a higher level of awareness. Most likely this is a reaction to yesterdays hang over and it's just my body's way of getting itself back on to an even keel.
I have started to question myself when I do feeling these physical things and question myself as to what my body is telling me, and it's not telling me to panic or be anxious. It might just be telling me you need a rest etc.
But anyway that's how I feel today. Maybe I need a nice massage or a yoga session!
Labels: panic