Hump Hump Hump

It's hump day and I so feel it today.

I feel pretty tired and just generally a bit worn out.

I did at least have lunch today with young Dan who is looking good and seems to be relatively free of pain at the moment (or was that only during lunch?)

The adorable Bry responded to my post the other day looking for the name of a plant, it was horsetail, but guess what?

It's banned in Australia!

Fantastic, the plant I wanted is bloody banned!

Oh well all I want is a nice hedging plant that looks like a reed or bamboo, but without the bamboo because I don't like it when bamboo leaves die as it looks messy.

On other really fascinating news an insight into my personality was gained during the week and the outcome of this is that I have been told I need to get myself a car, for both my and the boy's sanity and happiness.

I haven't driven in about 4 years, partially because the boy has a love affair with his car and the thought of putting ding in it is enough to make me hyper ventilate. The main reason through is the last time I did actually drive I had a very large panic attack and well quite frankly I haven't driven since.

In virtually everything else that has caused me in the past panic attacks or excessive anxiety I have managed to overcome, meetings, walking across streets, most queues and most social situations.

It's helped knowing that the physical effects I used to count as being a prelude to a panic attack are actually just normal anxiety and are normal.

But the thought of driving again is both exciting and terrifying, but I think the excitement outweighs the terror.

So there are two things to do,

1) Choose a car type
2) Start driving again in small doses.

The first is relatively easy, and no I refuse to get a 'sensible' car with four seats, bugger that for a joke, I'm not going to be lumped with the 'family' car while the boy has all the fun with the expensive sports car.

However I do need to be realistic in my need, nothing expensive, nothing large. I mentioned to a client that I was thinking of driving again and she suggested a Smart Car, whilst I was more thinking a Mazda MX5 (Miata).

We had a MX5 years ago and I loved the little bugger, it drove like the clappers, it was fun sporty and a two year old used MX5 is not too expensive.

Mind you on the other hand a Smart could be fun too, but if I am going to drive again I would like to drive something sexy and something that I feel is sexy.

The problem of course is how do I get some practice in before getting a car, budgetary constraints mean it will take a while (it's called a Budget and WE WILL stick to it). I am not really sure I want to drive the boy's car, or maybe I should just pull my finger out, find a quiet car park with lots of space and have a go and get my confidence up that way.

The insight is fascinating and after really quite deep thought it makes a huge amount of sense to me that yes it's time to star driving again and yes it will help me alot!