Last night at a friend's Birthday party as I ate a piece of chocolate cake (my first in weeks) I had what I thought was something stuck to the back of one of my teeth.
I tried everything to get rid of it.
But then the harsh horror hit me, there was nothing stuck to my tooth, in fact I had lost half of my tooth!
I am terrified to the point of inability to function by the Dentist. I am anxiety ridden and in a blind panic, I haven't been to the Dentist in a good ten years even though I know I should have because I have had bad teeth and bad gums as a teenager through neglect and a chronically dry mouth.
So now on Wednesday for the first time in ten years I have to go to the Dentist for an 'assessment' then I have another hour next week to start fixing whatever.
But after not going to the Dentist for ten years I am terrified at what they will find, my mind is playing out all sorts of horrendous scenarios in my head.
I am not even sure with Valium I will be able to site back in that chair and even vaguely relax.
It's a nightmare but on the other side this is one of those fears and phobias that I know can only be addressed and solved by going.
The last time I went to the Dentist I had three cavities fixed, and I fainted after getting up from the chair.
But at least this time I am not going to my previous dentist who I did not like and I am going to a Dental practice owned by the wife of an ex work colleague, although I am seeing the partner in the practice who I have met at a dinner party
She tried to convince me over dinner that I should come and see her then!
So Wednesday morning I will for the first time in ten years have to confront one of my biggest phobias!