I have had a very lackluster return to the gym in the last few months, most weeks I have not ventured anywhere near the gym let alone done proper exercise apart from walking everywhere.
I lack the motivation, energy and drive at the moment to get to the gym even though I have a trainer, who I have cancelled week after week of sessions because or work commitments and being away.
My last SMS conversation with him I promised to commit to a training regime, but again this afternoon I know I should go to the gym tonight but I am already tired from the day and have work to get done.
I know I need to go to the gym and I know that when I do go to the gym I feel much better physically and mentally, but making that step and actually going is just a step too far at the moment.
We were at a house party on the weekend and it seems that everyone I know is going to the gym with a religious fervor (well it is only two weeks till Sleaze Ball I suppose).
In many ways this is a symptom of a whole malady or overall 'malaise' at the moment. I feel quite burnt out in general, the holiday was fantastic although too short, but it will tide me over for a while.
I am finding it difficult to find inspiration in many things right now, I have huge amounts of work to do and sometimes I feel as though it just never ever ends.
I am slightly envious of people who have several weeks off work and don't have to work while they are away or quite frankly can even take that much time off work in general.
But then I balance that against the fact that in other ways I am achieving things and have things they do not, or don't want to have either.
I need to find inspiration and balance and get back to enjoying the gym but I am not sure I know how..