Sometimes Blue

Monday Mornings

2011-05-09T07:35:00.000+10:00

I have a love hate relationship with Monday Mornings, not because I have mondayitits and don't want to go to work. No more because I know how much I have to get done in a week and just how little time I have to do it all!

I have signed on a couple of very large and potentially very lucrative clients for the company and have been busy teaching myself new things like App development for the iPhone, iPad and Android markets.

I only managed two gym sessions last week, but I did get a hold of my new Fiscia sensor so I can properly monitor the intensity of working out.

Sheesh I have to tell you I thought I was training hard, but according to the actual results I was only 'moderately' training.

It sure goes to show why somethings having the right tools really helps.

So now onward and upward for the week.

Two fortune cookies this week have both told me that something big I have wanted is going to happen and happen soon.

I hope this means that my strategy that seems to be working really starts to take off out of the stratosphere!

Keep your bloggy fingers crossed for me

BTW I am pretty sure that the picture is London Preppy taken off of GWIP

Utter Perfection!

2011-04-29T13:06:00.002+10:00

Wishlist and Getting Fit

2011-04-23T08:59:00.002+10:00

I have been caning myself at the gym of late pushing myself with huge cardio workouts.

I finally got round to replacing the battery in my Polar Heart Rate Monitor, but guess what the bugger is stuffed, and after doing some research have decided that it's not worth getting fixed and instead have been looking at new ideas for monitoring heart rate and workout intensity.

It's important for me because I have no real idea of the actual intensity I work out at unless I Can see my heart rate and use this to push myself!

What I wanted was an Iphone integrated solution, because let's face it I take the phone everywhere and use it at the gym for music anyway, so in my desire to limit the number of devices I found DigiFit.

It's a very cool idea, its a small plug in receiver and iPhone App that gets the heart rate signals from a compatible strap monitor.

it's all very simple and in total less than $100 USD for the app, heart rate monitor and iphone plug.

Only problem it's not available in Australia yet!

BUGGER

I have been reading a whole lot of late about the arguments for an against calorie counting and it's a really interesting read.

It's well established that you can lose weight by limiting the amount of calories you eat, 1kg of weight requires 7500 calorie deficit - this article says it all.

For my age and lifestyle without exercise my basal metabolic rate is around 2200 calories a day, so to lose a kg of fat I would need to burn an extra 1000 calories every day for a week. That's a huge undertaking.

I was reading about the whole argument against calorie counting and more about eating a less processed less red meat diet high in fruit, vegetables, nuts and grains.

Personally I want a good balance, I like a drink, I like my food, so I want a balance between it all.

At my age I don't feel the need to have the perfect body, but I do want to be fit and make sure I am looking after my body and my health.

I just wanna say F*** the world sometimes

2011-04-20T09:49:00.002+10:00

Sometimes I just wanna say Fuck the world, I'm in a mood at the moment. Some friends did something a little while back that really hurt my feelings.

I know I should be the bigger person and just shrug it off and recognise that that's just life but I am having a real hard time letting go.

*sigh

pic courtesy gwip

Some Inspiration - Jack Swift

2011-04-18T06:30:00.003+10:00

Jack Swift lost his leg in a work accident a couple of years ago and rather than curl up and admit defeat he decided to become a Personal Trainer and has even been voted a Cleo Bachelor of the year Finalist.

Men's Health Gallery

Paralympic Team Profile

2011-04-08T10:25:00.002+10:00

I have had one of those weeks where simple things have been misinterpreted by people and what should be a simple little recognition of being caught out turned into something bigger than ben hur!

The change from daylight saving has had a impact on my poor body and I have been dragging my ass half asleep for a while LOL.

But I have managed to get to the gym a couple of times this week to start attacking my "space saver tire" as I call my extra inch around the waist.

I saw this underwear on Daily Jocks (and oh god he is hot!) and looked at that body and went I have no hope in hell of getting there, but I do have a hope in hell of getting trim and taut again :)

Almost Seven Months of No Blogging

2011-03-29T17:12:00.002+11:00

Wow almost seven months of not blogging, which is amazing for me since I used to love blogging.

Sooooooo much has happened in the last few months.

The huge thing in my life was the death of my mother who had been going down hill for the last several years.

I thought it was going to be easier since in many ways with her dementia she hadn't really been 'here' for quite a while. But the roller coaster of emotions I have been going through have been huge.

On other news:

I gave up smoking in early January and am still off the fags (well the cigarettes anyway LOL)
Work is hellishly busy but there is also some upside as well
I have been dreadful and have still not properly gotten back into the gym, I am going but just not as dedicated as I once was.

I am considering taking down a whole lot of this site and redoing it but removing the galleries etc. I still get loads of traffic but I am not sure I want to continue paying every month for the huge bandwidth this site gets.....

Swooping In

2010-09-30T07:59:00.002+10:00

The last few weeks have seen a considerable improvement in my mother's mental state of health.

The medications they have given her are making her sleep through the night and she is no longer on the roller coaster of acute anxiety ridden deliriums.

This along with all the community services has meant that she is still at home being looked after by Dad, my sister and a whole lot of different people that come in at various times of the day and week.

Whilst she no longer needs acute dementia care right this very moment, the time will come and we still have to move forward and find somewhere for her.

It's a damn tough call really, she could go downhill incredibly quickly again and this time the ride down could be even worse.

My preference is to find her a place now rather than later, but my sister doesn't want to do that until there is no way at all she can cope at home.

I understand her point of view, mum seems OK (well as OK as someone with dementia can be) an things seem to be controlled at the moment.

But looks can be deceiving and I am not convinced that dad is coping at all, nor do I think my sister is coping either.

On the work front we released the major new software upgrade and have started the task of upgrading or install base.

So far we have done about 5% of clients and so far we have found about 15 minor bugs and 4 major bugs in the code. It's a bugger but no matter how much you test applications on a dev environment you will always find bugs and issues when it's being used by the great unwashed masses out there in user land (IE the clients).

The initial feedback to the new version has been very positive though and is making our work lives a lot easier.

We have been having a few issues with a couple of clients in the last few weeks. I really struggle with wanting to make all my clients happy. But sometimes you just have to take a long walk and look at the real situation in a cold and rather clinical way.

Do they make you money?

Are you losing money with them?

Will giving them something for nothing will you get something back?

Remember in my business we charge for our time, experience and skills alongside charging for our software. Software is a funny thing though, you spend thousands of hours building applications on the promise that people want it and will buy it.

Then you sell it and recoup the investment you made and make a return on that time you put in to building it.

Clients often don't get this fact, many of them simply think that because the software exists already they shouldn't have to pay for it, nor should they have to pay for enhancements that only they want.

Two issues that I face with many clients is with the speed of technological change.

They don't want to pay to upgrade their sites or systems to reflect new technology changes and they threaten and try to bully into getting these changes for nothing.

I had a really awkward heated argument with a client last week on just one of these issues and in the end I lost my cool. It was cringe worthy on my behalf but at the end of the day I had to stop being nice and think carefully about my business.

I am a very fair person to my client's - probably more so than I really need to be.

But in this case I looked critically at the situation and realized I am not getting anything out of this relationship. To continue to support them is actually costing me time, and my time is definitely money. They have been told they have to pay but they refuse to pay for valid work.

On the up side of the last few weeks I have just made a formal offer to a new sales person and I am waiting for their acceptance of the offer.

They are totally unlike my other staff hires. This one is significantly older with what I hope will be a strong work ethic.

I am pretty emotionally work out right now and need an emotional break to regroup and visualize my goals and strategize where I am going and what I want.

I am not great at taking time out, but in the coming weeks I am going to do just that and re do my personal and professional action plan.

Where have I been?

2010-09-15T07:31:00.002+10:00

It's been ages since I posted last and there have been very good reasons.

The last month and a half have been very full on filled with stress and more stress.

My mother's dementia took a nose dive a few weeks back ending up back in hospital. Leading up to this her night time wanderings had got a lot worse, setting a small fire in the kitchen at 2 in the morning and having several small falls.

She became quite delusional and her grasp on any form of reality or common sense practically flew out the window.

The worst part for her and us has been the ever present confusion and associated anxiety. Her anxiety and confusion got so bad that she was in a right state and my poor father who looks after her was simply teetering on the edge of not coping at all.

She has been assessed as requiring secure dementia care and we are in the process of finding her a specialist aged care facility that can take her.

Dealing with all of this plus the anxiety of my sister has taken a huge toll on me mentally and physically.

There is so much to do and learn about all the ins and outs of aged care requirements and facilities. The paperwork is monstrous alone!

The gym has been thrown out the window of late, in between working at a huge pace, having to take off significant amounts of time to visit my mother and attend different doctors meetings with her and the family has taken all the emotional and mental strength I can find.

Couple that with starting a new staff member at the start of August and then yesterday having to terminate them for non performance it's just been a total bitch of a month and a half.

We have been lucky enough to also have some time off during this period, going to Port Douglas for a couple of days for a break (although work never quite stopped every day) and then last weekend going to the Gold Coast for a friends university graduation ceremony.

I am almost finished a major and I really mean major software upgrade to the main piece of software my company sells and should have this huge update ready to go by the end of this week which is very exciting.

It also means that once it's finished and all the bugs are ironed out I can focus back on other parts of the business and be a little less stressed with work.

Mind you having let go of the new staff member I need to find a replacement and I need to find a replacement quickly.

I still cannot believe just how tough it is to find engaged and stable employees, it's a bloody struggle and seems to be the biggest challenge of my business.

But I will soldier on and meet my goals, I just now need to get back to the objectives of quitting smoking and getting healthy again which is a real driving force for me.

Not sure when I will post again, I have a feeling I might have another burst of posting energy at the moment though, but who knows what tomorrow or even today will bring.

Sydney Convicts Bingham Cup 2012 Bid

2010-08-10T09:52:00.000+10:00

Support the Sydney Convicts Bid for the Bingham Cup to be held in Sydney in 2012.

Just think 2000 hunky international rugby boys all in Sydney!

The debate on Gay Marriage

2010-08-09T08:06:00.002+10:00

Unless you live under a rock or don't read any news media the Californian Overturning of Proposition 8 has ignited the conservatives like nothing else.

The vitriol and hatred that is being spewed forth is just astounding (but not suprising) and I chuckle at some of the baseless and extreme views.

In one the many news articles I read during the weekend the comments from readers were fast and furious.

It's important to understand the core arguments against gay marriage to be able to rebuff them.

1) Homosexuality is a choice

I think by now all of us are aware that we have no choice in being gay, whether it's genetic, environmental or something else, we have as much choice as a person has choice of the eye color they are born with.

2) Marriage is sacred religious institution

Marriage is not religious, it is a legal contract between two consenting people.

3) Marriage is about procreation

Marriage is not about procreating otherwise people who are unable to have children would not be able to get married.

4) Children need a mother and a father

Countless studies have proven that children raised in same sex relationships are no worse off and in some cases are better off than in opposite sex relationships

5) Allowing same sex marriage will lead to allow pedophilia and bestiality and people marrying goats and horses.

This by far is the most ridiculous and stupid argument, the issue here is of CONSENT, two people getting married have CONSENT, children and animals do not have consent and because of this lack of consent child abuse and bestiality is abhorrent and insulting.

Sure there are so many other arguments that can be debunked but it's amazing how many times anti gay red necks use these arguments against us in our fight for equality.

The wrap up of last week and this week's effort

2010-08-04T07:33:00.003+10:00

I finished last week with my targeted three workouts, two of them were great and really powerful, while my last was quite wimpy and lacking energy.

This week so far I have not had the time to get to the gym.

I have a new staff member at work and have been working longer hours as a result. But I am intending to still get at least three workouts in.

It's been one of those weeks where no matter how much you think you are getting on top of things, other things just pop up and take away time!

I am thinking of taking a couple of pictures of my body as it is right now, I am not sure if I will blog them but I might, let's just see if I can get the courage.

Or maybe it's what I need to keep me motivated by baring all (well not all LOL) and actually seeing my progress.

It is hard though trying to find the time when I have the energy to fit in a long workout trying to juggle everything that goes on in life.

I am seriously thinking about trying to get to the gym in the mornings before I go to work, that way it is done for the day and work doesn't then get in the way.

Some GWIP goodness

2010-07-30T07:00:00.000+10:00

I always love some hot eye candy and Guys Wth iPhones never disappoints!

The gym is going well and my strength is returning as the weights are increasing and I am finding my feet again at the gym.

It's funny after all this time away and all the anxiety about going back I am really enjoying it and finding my energy levels all returning!

Great!

The Things boys do

2010-07-29T07:42:00.002+10:00

My Facebook commenting has been alive with a very humorous story the last twenty four hours.

The wife of a friend works in a private Catholic Boys high School and yesterday she found an empty condom package in the school library and of course twittered to Facebook her unusual find.

Ah there are so many things to say at this point and the comments from here friends and myself are running thick and wild!

At least they are having safe sex in the library LOL

I did have a look at her friends list and she has some very hot boys who have left school in the last few years.

Ah the fantasy of 18 year old private school boys getting it on in the school library!

Gold!

Mind you with all the media attention of the Catholic Church with gay priests and molestation accusations you hope it's the boys and not the priests!

To age gracefully, disgracefully or enhanced

2010-07-28T13:49:00.002+10:00

As I get older the visible signs of aging become more apparent (doesn't that sound like an advert for moisturizers?).

Apart from my new zeal for the gym it's also that time of life that you seriously start to think about reversing some of the signs of aging.

One of the big issues I have is thinning hair and I have been taking propecia for several years to stop the good old hair from falling out. With great results, before taking it I was significantly thinning on top, but these days I do have a lot more hair.

Mind you if I started it much sooner I may have even more hair, but live and learn I suppose.

Up until a few years ago I used to keep my hair bleached blond (or at least highlighted) but stopped when my hair became thin and have never really gone back.

I do miss being a blond instead of a mousy brown, but the issue is now the grey hair is starting to show more and more.

Our first adopted child with the subtlety of a sledgehammer told me I should be putting a colour rinse through my hair to get rid of the blond streaks.

I didn't pay that much attention at the time but then I asked second adopted child and he suggested that maybe I should too.

I don't know about this, while I was young it was cool to colour my hair, but now I am frightened of being that old guy with the greying roots and unnatural hair colour.

Everyone knows one of those guys they see out there with a deep dark coloured hair but the roots show a totally different story.

The 2nd child and I got into a discussion about aging gracefully or disgracefully. And I said that I wanted to age with class like George Clooney who has great salt and pepper hair.

His response was "you don;t think he's hard other work done?"

Good point I suppose!

We are all mindful of our visible age as opposed to our actual age.

Depending on the day of the week I can look my age to look ten years younger. My skin is relatively wrinkle free (until I smile ) from using moisturizer on my skin since I was a teenager.

I tried botox a few months ago and will definitely have more even if the 2nd child told me I had creepy stare all the time, I just think I need to get some more and learn not to have creep look LOL.

I have been bleaching my teeth the last few weeks and am enjoying the results.

But the rinse through the hair is one that has me stumped, really stumped!

I don't want to try and look like a youngster I just want to look good for my age, and be age appropriate.

I have always said to myself I would not say no to a bit of a face tuck if I could be guaranteed of natural results and not end of looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein.

An old friend had some face work done a couple of years ago and it looked great. It was just the bags under his eyes removed some minor tightening and some skin peeling. And hey presto he looked 10 - 15 years younger.

Granted he was looking older than he was, but the results were great.

He even tried a hair rinse, but I think he got the wrong colour and ended up with dark black hair which looked kind of ridiculous on him.

So should we age gracefully like Katheryn Hepburn or should we pull out all the stops like Demi Moore?

Cristiano Ronaldo

2010-07-26T07:42:00.003+10:00

What is it with Cristiano Ronaldo?

Thanks To Awkward Boners for these

Not so great Gym week

2010-07-24T16:03:00.002+10:00

This week has been a bit of a right off in terms of my gym training.

After the huge party weekend I have been feeling exhausted and although the gym has been on my mind I did not manage to actually pull my finger out and get there till today.

On the up side my workout today was definitely stronger and better than the workouts I have had to date.

I managed to bench press more than I have in this cycle and got through the entire 8 excercise workout.

I am buggered now though, but I can feel I have worked out well because my muscles have that good old fatigued feeling and a little bit of burning all rolled into one.

Nest week definitely the three workouts will be achieved, who knows I may even sneak a fourth in if I am lucky!

Ackward Conversation of the weekend

2010-07-20T07:34:00.002+10:00

Late last week it was my Birthday and what do you do when it's your Birthday weekend?

You throw a party and invite all of your friends to come and celebrate with you.

We had a blast starting off at our place and then moving to one of the newly 'gay' clubs on Oxford street. I say 'new' because it's one of the old straight clubs that has now been taken over by the gays.

Apart from having an amazing time with all of our friends we ended up at a day club the next day for a few hours and as is my usual personality type I end up talking with everyone, and I seriously mean everyone.

One young guy a mate and I started to chat with was well and truly hammered and gone.

The conversation was just one of the funniest and weird I have ever had in a club.

At first glance from a distance this guy looked cute and the mate I was with was pretty keen on him. But that soon stopped....

Me: How are you going?

Him: Yeah

Me: Having a good night?

Him: Haven't had sex in three months

Me: Um why?

Him: looks around a bit and says. My girlfiend's in jail

Me: Right, why?

Him: Oh it was some shit that caught up with the bitch before I met her

Me: OK, you do realise this is a gay bar (he looked really straight and smashed and we wouldn't have been surprised if he had no idea)

Him: Yeah, I've just got out of jail

Me: Um Why? (at this point I was wondering what jail had to do with being in a gay bar, was he looking to roll some gay guy for their wallet?)

Him: Armed Robbery, I held up a 711 with a gun

Me: Ok, (moving away slightly) what happened

Him: Armed Robbery I was high and I pulled a gun on the guy behind the counter cause I was high

Me: On Meth? (I was getting very nervous by now)

Him: Nah heroin, the fucker locked the door and wouldn't let me out so I head butted to glass door until I passed out while he waited for the police

Me: Wow that's um ..... You don't have a gun now do you? (I was really nervous now)

Him: Nah, I spent two months in jail (suprised that he only spent two months in jail for armed robbery)

Me: When did you get out?

Him: Friday

Me: And you came to a gay bar?

Him: I got raped by four guys within two hours and had to have 6 stitches, I think I like guys

Me: Oh look my friends are calling me

And then I ran off as fast as I could.

Apart from the fact that he was totally smashed beyond belief, the whole episode reminded me of just how lucky on life we have been. Reading through the lines you could tell he most likely had a totally screwed up life, probably bad home environment when he was younger and a lack of good school and parental influences

It just reminds you how so lucky you are to have grown up with parents who cared and had positive role models for your life.

Not to mention the ability to be ok with your sexuality and work your way through it.

I saw this guys several times talking to different people during the rest of the morning and every time I saw him I was still shocked.

Some Supplements

2010-07-16T12:49:00.003+10:00

In all my reading, listening and being told what to take over the last couple of months I have added some supplements to my diet.

In particular after reading The Healthy Boy Blog I started taking Silica a few months back for my hair and skin, and let me say the difference in both has been noticeable.

In addition to the Silica I have also been taking Evening Primrose oil and that in conjunction with the silica has really helped sooth and smooth my skin.

A friend also suggested I take fish oil to help lubricate all the old joints and help protect the good old heart.

That's one of those supplements that has no discernible effect but if it helps reduce cholesterol from eating badly then so be it.

Once I have got through my 'getting back to the gym routine', I will start taking some specific supplements again for muscle growth.

I really like the NoXplode Creatine and take it before going to the gym currently, but I will soon start loading on creatine every day when I am back to full workouts.

My previous gym trainer used to get me to take a good whey protein and waxy maize to help the muscle growth and recovery and I will start this again too.

With my desire to give up smoking in the coming weeks I know I will be eating more and more so I will have to be careful what I eat, although I think when I initially give up I will let myself eat anything I want so I have a better chance of succeeding.

The other two supplements I am thinking of taking are Glutamine and Tribulus.

Tribulus is a supplement which helps increase your natural testosterone and is good apparently for building muscle mass.

I must say with what I take now it's bloody hard enough to shovel down the fish oil, evening primrose and silica and still eat!

In Looking for Inspiration and Motivation

2010-07-15T13:55:00.004+10:00

In my new motivated state to get back to the gym and take control again of my body I found a great blog a couple of weeks back Super Size Chris.

Chris's blog is chronicling his getting back into fitness and putting on muscle mass and definition.

It's been a really interesting and motivating read let me tell you!

From the picture below you can see how he started out back in December of last year. Let's face it, he had a good foundation to start with and was certainly very lean (and rather cute too :).

But now almost seven months later the fruits of his efforts are very definitely showing!

He looks bloody hot if you ask me!

The point of this apart from offering up some hot eye candy is this part of my inspiration to get back to the gym.

It really helps knowing that gains and changes can be made to the way your body looks.

Also reading through his journey it has helped me identify some of the things that I am putting into place.

The last time I was seriously training was well over a year and half ago and I had a trainer once a week.

For six months I was doing split routines, and although I was maintaining a lean body I didn't really see the results I wanted to see.

I think this was due to a number of factors:

I don't think I was eating enough
I don't think I was always working out as hard as I should have been
I also importantly don;t think the routines I was doing were right for me at the time.

I think moving forward with my workouts I am going to do a general workout of exercises of two body parts each workout with abs and warm up extra.

Sort of like:

Shoulders x 2

Back x 2

Chest x 2

Legs x 2

Biceps & Triceps alternate between workout

And work it up to four workouts a week with an additional interval training cardio session if I get the time.

Each workout will use different exercises for the different body parts so I am not doing the same exercise each workout.

But for the next couple of weeks I am happy to just test the waters so to speak giving my body a chance to get back into working out and finding what my muscles can handle.

It's been a big shock to my system the first few times and I have had to start all the way down the bottom of the weights again, but I dare say within a few weeks will know what my muscles can and cannot handle.

So I am off to the gym again tonight and will do my first overall workout I think most likely:

10 minute cardio warm up

Seated Row

Shoulder Press

Lat Pull Down

Cable Pull

Bench Press

Decline Dumbells

Squats

Lying Down leg Curl

Bicep Curl

Triceps

Abs

or at least 8 of the above anyway.

Legs sore

2010-07-14T09:56:00.003+10:00

I pulled myself to the gym last night and did the nearly unthinkable - a legs workout!

I hate doing legs workouts more than anything else, but I did a 5 exercise leg workout and then abs routine.

So now I hurt all over!

UGH!

I am going to get one more workout on this week and I will have reached my mini goal of actually going to the gym three times this week.

Next week will be tougher as we have a party planned this weekend and I know any gym workouts next week will be either a total wimp out or a total lack of motivation.

But my aim is still to go the gym three times a week for the rest of the month.

It's sort of like a light getting back to the routine first and then I am going to start putting some proper thought and strategy into the gym.

The stunning picture is of the Fitness Model and Trainer David Rich, go visit his site for tips and very nice eye candy!

http://davidrichfitness.blogspot.com/

First Time Gym in Months

2010-07-12T06:42:00.002+10:00

I finally dragged my out of shape ass to the gym on the weekend for the first time in months (or maybe it was over a year).

I can't say I totally enjoyed the first time again.

It was bloody hard and I am certainly feeling the effects this morning as I type.

My arms, shoulders, chest and legs all hurt.

But it's kind of good knowing that I actually did get over my fear of going back and I have.

It was a pretty wimpy all round workout.

8 exercises 3 sets of each with a 10 minute warmup on the cross trainer.

My goal is to go at least twice more this week and again do a general workout and just start getting my body back into the groove.

CRISTIANO RONALDO - 25 Gayest Pictures

2010-07-09T10:06:00.002+10:00

I can't resist I think he is so bloody cute!

See all the pictures here - http://www.tabloidprodigy.com/?p=16107#more-16107

Life is very busy

2010-07-08T07:43:00.003+10:00

My blogging seems to have trailed off significantly at late.

Blame it on spending so much time working and dealing with family and other issues.

Work is an interesting contradiction at times. It can be so busy and stressful that I get anxious and stressed out. While at other times I seem to immerse myself and enjoy the concentration. I am striving to find a balance in work where the time I enjoy my business outweighs the times I want to throw the towel in and walk away.

One of my largest stresses is my search for a new staff member which just seems to be going nowhere.

I took the plunge about 6 weeks ago and enlisted the help of a recruiter to find me the new junior sales person.

After four weeks of nothing finally a candidate came along who ticked almost all the boxes, ambitious, smart and eager to work.

We made the offer, he accepted and then the day before he was supposed to start he rang and declined the offer, because in his words he wanted a larger company with far more long term promotion opportunities.

So we are back waiting for more candidates to interview.

It is tough running your own business, you don't worry about the now you always worry about three months time. I have always had a business philosophy that I should have about 3 months of cash in the bank to actually pay all the staff and bills.

The last year has been tough trying to get that balance, sometimes I walk into the office and I dread the day, not because things are bad, more I have this burning desire to grow the business and get far more security.

But I have to learn that in small business security is what you make of it and it's all perception anyway.

The other big thing that is taking both my time and giving me an emotional roller coaster ride is my parents.

Last year mum had a minor stroke and was diagnosed with advanced dementia. It's an insidious disease and we know the long term outcome we just don't know the time frame.

Her mental ability is significantly reduced these days and the progression of the illness is starting to take it's toll not just on her but my father, sister and myself.

It's obvious that she is unable to comprehend rational thought and her much of her memory is shot.

My father who is her defacto carer is also going through his own battles with dementia just not as pronounced as my mother's. I can see the same lack of rational reasoning in my father that my mother was displaying last year. You can't reason with him (I totally gave up on trying to reason with my mother because all it did was frustrate me).

They live alone and help look after each other, but this can't go on forever (or much longer). We need to get them into care situation, at the moment they could live in assisted care (own apartment in a retirement village) but they are absolutely adamant that they will not go.

And I know that if we push them it could cause a serious mental decline that could hasten their deaths.

At some stage soon and the problem is we don't really know when, my mother will need dementia care in nursing home. She can do simple things when prompted and reminded but the simple tasks like getting dressed or setting a table still get messed up and confused.

Because of the dementia we can't reason with them or even explain to them the gravity of the situation and why they need to go into care.

It's frustrating and scary for us because we want them to be safe, but it's a catch 22 situation. If we push them into care now it could cause another serious breakdown, while if we do nothing they could have a serious accident (think burning the place down while getting confused making dinner).

So we are looking at the retirement village options where there are three levels of care, assisted living, hostel care and nursing home care. But if we bring it up with them they dig there heals in and maintain that everything is fine, even though it's patently not.

It's all very stressful and difficult really.

With all of this stress I have not been able to do the thing which I know will help me manage my stress the most and that's give up smoking and get back to the gym.

It's a vicious cycle for me really, I am acutely aware that smoking and lack of exercise makes me tired and more stressed, but I just can't seem to actually bring myself to make the plunge and stop the evil weed.

Can you see the total hypocrisy here and mirror between my parents inability to accept they need care and my inability to stop smoking and do something about my own stress levels?

It's absurdly obvious to me!

I had a minor epiphany a few weeks back when I was talking to my sister who has a similar vicious cycle to me, not with smoking but her own fitness and eating habits.

The stress of my parents has led her to put on some weight and this has made her unhappy, she knows that if she loses some weight and gets some exercise she will be better able to manage her stress levels.

I was busy giving her advice on what to do and then I stopped, stepped back a moment and realized I have no right to tell her how to do this when it's again like a mirror of my own situation.

Minor epiphany indeed!

Maybe this is just fundamental human nature in that we do self destructive things that cause us stress. We instinctively know that these things add to our stress and if we fix them we are much better able to cope, but we lack that strength of character or willpower or whatever it is to actually change things.

Years ago when I worked in consulting I used to work in large scale public incident management and one of the most experienced people in the field told me some key words of wisdom about managing a major incident.

Manage the incident, don't let it manage you.

I think this concept is really apt right now. I am letting the 'incident' manage me and I am not managing it.

It's doesn't matter that you can't actually manage things that are out of control, but what you can do is manage the response to the incident and mitigate the things you can change.

Quite a few of our friends are in one form of twelve step program or another and I was reminded the other day of their serenity mantra:

Give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,

courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Regardless of whether you have an addiction or just need to refocus your self it's an excellent mantra don't you think?

Interestingly I used to use my blog as a way for me to help focus myself, write my thoughts out and un-scamble them. I do find writing things down cathartic and helpful so maybe I should start again.

Closing Arguments on Prop 8 Trial

2010-06-17T13:59:00.002+10:00

It's enlightening reading the comments in the mainstream media about Perry vs Szwharzanegger. The very argument against Proposition 8 is that it is just based on animus (a feeling of ill will arousing active hostility).

The drivel people come up with that same sex marriage will end civilisation or will cause the church to fail etc is just that drivel. But it also supports the key argument that people voted for Proposition 8 because of animus.

There is also such a lack of understanding of same sex marriage and what marriage actually is. So many people seem to think that marriage is religious, and a change would force churches to marry gay people.

It's nothing to do with religion, marriage is a legal contract between two people, some people get married in a church and some do not.

It is truly breathtakingly scary just how stupid and misguided so many people are

Today has seen the closing arguments for the trial and we will have to wait a while to find out what the Judge decides.

Either way this is most likely the case that will end up in the Supreme Court, win or lose, both sides will appeal.

This is history folks!

Wanna be arrested?

2010-05-12T07:58:00.002+10:00

Popular bel Ami porn star Kris Evans was recently fired from his job as a policeman in his small Hungarian Town when they found out he was a porn star.

I can just imagine how many guys would have gone to that town and tried to be arrested by Kris while he was still a policeman!

elevator eye candy

2010-05-10T17:12:00.000+10:00

How much work do you have t do to get those arms?

Some eye candy

2010-05-04T07:30:00.000+10:00

Changes

2010-05-03T18:19:00.002+10:00

I realised that its been almost a month since I last actually blogged.

I have been pretty busy with work the last month and honestly the last thing on my mind has been blogging or to be pretty much doing anything really!

You will have noticed that the blog has moved to blogspot, that's because blogger in their wisdom has turned off the ability to blog to my own web server.

I am in a quandary as what to do with the blog and the site really.

I don't have the time to devote to the site anymore and at the moment I don't really have the time to blog, nor do I really have the motivation to either.

I might just let it sit for a while and then decide what I feel like doing with the blog and the site

This blog has moved

2010-04-29T07:14:00.001+10:00

This blog is now located at http://superdrewby.blogspot.com/.
You will be automatically redirected in 30 seconds, or you may click here.

For feed subscribers, please update your feed subscriptions to
http://superdrewby.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default.

Out of proportion

2010-04-08T12:47:00.000+10:00

This guys arms are just massive!

Sure he is cute but those arms are just way out of proportion I think!

If Lady Gaga was not famous...

2010-04-04T08:20:00.000+10:00

I needed some eye candy

2010-03-31T12:51:00.001+11:00

I's sick of working right now so I needed some eye candy.

Risque DNA Cover Model Andy Speer

2010-03-30T08:04:00.004+11:00

Now they are risque pictures for a shelf magazine!

On a design Tangent

2010-03-30T08:00:00.001+11:00

I was reading an article this morning on a design to cover my old universities tower with an innovative glowing white sculpture and I went on a design discovery Tangent.

The architect Chris Bosse is an amazing architect designer who has designed many iconic buildings and interiors all based on organic, geometric shapes.

A few of the images are above.

Chris Bosse

Tony Abbot softens his anti gay rhetoric

2010-03-26T07:40:00.002+11:00

In a surprisingly about face Tony Abbot has softened his anti gay rhetoric and said he now supports same sex relationships.

He still does not support same sex marriage but he would be willing to 'look at' same sex civil unions. Source

Whilst this is an interesting development for same sex equality it still fails to reach the needed equality of full same sex marriage.

Politics is a funny thing when staunch anti gay politicians publicly change their views, and I must admit I am a total sceptic when it comes to these sorts of statements.

There are two perspectives here I suppose, on the one hand civil unions would be a great stepping stone towards equality for same sex relationships and if the opposition actually supported them we would have civil unions in Australia relatively quickly.

On the other hand civil unions do nothing more than continue the discrimination against same sex couples and still place them as inequitable.

The argument is if we accept the lesser of civil unions the fear is the politicians will then say we have 'equality' and the potential for full same sex marriage rights will be taken off the table for the foreseeable future.

But on the other side of the argument, is Australia politically and socially capable of giving us full same sex marriage rights in the foreseeable future?

It's a hard choice of what to push for that is politically and socially capable of being won.

My own personal view is we must push for incremental change when we can get it, make it clear that it's still not enough but take it none the less and then push for the next incremental change.

It's a dangerous argument but I am not sure that politically we can get full same sex marriage rights without having an incremental step.

Hot Damn!

2010-03-25T14:39:00.001+11:00

Courtesy of GWIP

Size matters...

2010-03-23T07:30:00.000+11:00

I pissed myself laughing over this!

Dear Bossy: This is an unusual problem which might sound amusing to some but is really serious.

My daughter has a lovely young fella. He’s clean cut, polite and treats her well. They are clearly in love. Obviously a seriously potential son in law.

The “problem” is I think they will soon be sexually active - with which I have no problem. However when my husband and the boyfriend came home from the beach they were all hot so went for the shower. Hubbie “saw” the boyfriend’s flacid penis whilst they were swapping places in the shower room and he told me it’s a whopper in all measurements.

Hubbie is a standard size guy & so could make a judgement. My “problem” is - is it a problem? Should I tell my daughter what she may be (I nearly wrote facing) having to deal with. Or is it a non-issue? Is it my business?

Hubbie thinks, like most men, he would like a monster too! But I’m not even going there so far as the “lucky girl” & other joke asides are concerned. Daughter is a standard 5ft 5 inch tall dress size 14.

Please advise

Click the here to read the response and the comments it's truly gold

some Monday eye candy to get you going

2010-03-22T08:57:00.003+11:00

It's been a long while since I last updated the blog with some eye candy and what lovely eye candy it is!

I especially love the second guy, that chest is just perfect! And speaks reams about how much work he does in the gym (along with great genetics).

The weekend was fun, a mix of social stuff, down time and work.

This week however is going to be huge, meetings, projects due and the start of the meaty component of a large new internal project at work.

I still haven't pulled my finger out and stopped the evil habit, but I know D Day is drawing closer and I need to just choose the day and draw a line in the sand and be done with it.

As always images shamelessly stolen from Guys With iPhones.

It's nice to be home

2010-03-14T17:23:00.002+11:00

After four days away with friends down the coast I am happy to be home, but have that slight sadness and melancholy that the holiday is over.

As much fun as it was being away in an amazing house on the coast down the south coast with good friends I am reminded that I am a bit of a loner.

I missed the puppy probably more than I should :) Maybe I am a bit co-dependent with the beagle, and I know she just loves being at day care as she gets to play non stop with other dogs all day and night.

But I do miss her when she is not around and I think I would have preferred a holiday place that the puppy could have come with us.

As much as I love my friends and love having people around I am simply not used to it. The friends from the UK were with us again from Friday week ago and only left the afternoon we went for our mini break.

It was lovely seeing them and catching up with them but I am so used to just the boy and I in the apartment that it was a rude shock having more people in the apartment all the time. Couple that with stress at work and it took me quite a while to find my inner relaxation.

Truth be told I am feeling quite stressed, old and haggard at the moment. Work is taking it's toll on me this year and I feel that I am being pulled in a thousand different directions without a clear end in sight. We have been winning new work left right and center for the last month which is both good and bad, good because it means business is good, but bad because I am taking on even more of a workload.

I am at a bit of a crossroad with work, I want to get to the next stage in the evolution of the business but to get there requires a huge jump and a significant amount of work not just on the client projects but on getting things much more streamlined.

The goal is to get rid of the things that take my time that can be done by others or can be automated.

But to do that I need to focus and concentrate on documenting and automating stuff so other people can do it, but couple that with how much client work needs to be done and it seems a bit like trying to climb mount everest.

Then there is the old bug bear of my smoking.

Ah yes I hear the boy say.

I have made a promise to myself that I will stop, quit, become a non smoker and never have another one again.

It's far easier to type it than it is to do it.

I put it off at the beginning of the year because of the new years party season and didn't want the stress of quitting then.

I put it off in February because Mardi Gras and the rest of the party season and am now faced with D Day, I have no more excuses and I have no more parties, events etc that are standing in my way.

The funny thing is I hate smoking, I hate the way it makes me feel, I hate the smell, I hate the taste.

I especially hate the self loathing that I feel when I do smoke.

I seriously cannot think of one thing I like about it, not one.

So why do I continue to smoke?

Fear.

Fear of being anxious and the anxiety of quitting.

But from past experience of stopping I know that in my mind if I tell myself that I will not smoke and remind myself of all the things I am gaining from getting rid of the evil weed I can be much less anxious and in fact reduce it down to nothing more than a couple of days of stress and anxiety (oh and the personality of vile bitch).

I think psychologically I have been preparing for this for a while, I have been smoking like a chimney, so many cigarettes even when I don't actually want one it's been ridiculous.

Anyway I am going to end this and have a smoke and work out my state of mind for D Day.

Nice eye candy blog

2010-03-10T14:46:00.002+11:00

I am always fascinated by how different people make money for themselves, it's the entrepeneur in me I suppose.

I came across the picture above at Guys with iPhones and of course I followed the link in the picture. It turned out to be the blog of a 20 year old body builder in Florida who does 'private shows' for 'sponsors'.

Check out his blog for more hot pictures showing off his incredibly ripped body:

http://starhouston.blogspot.com/

I get the feeling that his private shows are all about flexing and showing off his body and not about doing sex acts, which is different LOL!

Week's Wrapup

2010-03-09T14:40:00.003+11:00

I can't believe that another Toybox party has been and gone and we have to wait another year for the next one!

Last week was bloody busy let me say, clients just came crawling out of the woodwork with new projects and it seems that everyone needs everything yesterday literally!

In between working like a trojan we also managed to fit in seeing the Kinsey Sicks a very cool Dragapella group, all singing no backup group in Australia for Mardi Gras, among my favorite numbers were, Waltzing my Dildo and Fertilizer to the tune of Britney Spear's Womanizer.

It's a busy part week for me this week I took yesterday off and am taking Thursday / Friday off, so am trying to pack into two days what I would normally do in five days!

But I am very much looking forward to having some down time.

It's been a long but good few weeks

2010-03-02T07:04:00.002+11:00

I have barely had the time or inclination to write a blog for a while so I thought a summary of the last couple of weeks would be good!

Last weekend was the Mardi Gras Parade and our annual Parade Party that we throw. The party was a hoot, although a few tense moments when the shirtless waiters got lost and were an hour and a half late.

I discovered that straight girls are the worst party guests of all, they drink so much they become paralytic. One even took it upon herself to get so drunk that she threw up and shat herself all at the same time - delightful!

We had a big media launch of a new product at work which generated a lot of great media interest and has generated a load of interest in our work from some unlikely sources like PayPal and a couple of advertising agencies.

The lead up to the launch was very intense trying to get everything ready was a huge workload and many late nights and weekends spent working.

A big thanks to Gabe for the help he gave in the media launch I could not have done it by myself.

The start to the year was slow with new business but hectic with existing customers. The last week has seen all of the quiet prospective customers come out of the woodwork and our forward sales pipeline is now very healthy.

We also set up a new team in India this month, which has been an interesting challenge for me, bot in terms of timing and learning how to manage an off shore team that doesn't start working till 2pm our time and goes through till 11pm our time.

My family is still a cause of stress, trying to juggle the day to day issues that arise with parents who have dementia. It's tough remaining calm and not show my frustration when they say the same thing over and over and over again and ring ten times a day to tell me the same thing.

But that's the unfortunate future of dealing with people whose mental capacity is diminishing.

We also have friends from the UK staying with us on and off for a couple of weeks and it's been nice catching up with friends that we haven't seen in nearly 8 years. Although because we have been busy we haven't been able to spend so much time with them.

This year though seems to be flying by and it's already the first week of March and it still feels like January.

But everything is pointing to this year being a really fantastic year all I have to do is find a good balance between working hard and achieving my goals and getting enough down time to relax and recharge as often as I can.

One of the biggest failings I have face the last couple of months is taking up my bad habit of smoking again, but I have promised myself once all the Mardi Gras Parties are all over I am going to dig my heals in and kick the dirty habit for once and for all.

I can feel the smoking reducing my fitness and health and I don't like the feeling, but I have to get myself into a psychological state of determination that I will stop and stop the discussion in my head when I do stop.

For anyone that stops smoking you know when you first give up it's like a battle of wills, on the one hand your 'good' side says yeah you can do it, whilst the other 'bad side' tells you, that you will just start smoking again so it's stupid putting yourself through the pain of stopping.

It's stupid really I just have to quiet my 'bad side' and nurture my good side.

Let's see how I can quite the bad and nurture the good in the next few weeks!

Too busy to scratch myself

2010-02-23T07:19:00.002+11:00

I have been too busy to scratch myself of late.

We are doing a media launch of a product tomorrow and I have been busy preparing for this along with normal day to day work and stuff.

We have some friends staying with us from the UK on and off over the next two weeks.

They arrived last Saturday and are off up the coast today.

Of course with the hellish workload and stress of work I managed to get a cold late last week and although it peaked on Saturday I am still not back to my normal manic self and feeling a bit slower than normal.

So it's back to writing proposals, code and talking to clients for me!

Mercy Killing

2010-02-19T07:30:00.000+11:00

The media storm over BBC Producers Ray Gosling's admission that he smothered his dying lover as he lay dying from latter stage AIDS in the 80's is suprising.

And the news he has now been arrested is just plain wrong.

Back in the really dark days of the 80's when thousands of people were dying in the most gruesome ways from AIDS related diseases some begged an pleaded to be helped to end their pain, whilst others like some friends I knew fought on to the very end.

I am a believer of euthanasia in controlled circumstances, but it's technically illegal to help someone die, even though if you ask many hospice nurses and doctors they will allude to the fact that they do 'help' people to die faster with some dignity.

It may be through elevated levels of morphine to a level that stops the person's respiration, or it may be something else.

Thousands of people helped their partners, friends, parents, brothers and sisters to end their suffering.

Generally the last days of someone with a terminal illness are horrific as their body shuts down and the pain cannot be controlled by pain medication.

I think if I were in that situation I would want someone to help me end the pain and suffering.

It's ridiculous, we routinely and humanely help our pets to end their suffering and I have experienced this too.

But when it comes to our fellow humans we are legally required to torture them for the last days of their lives.

It just doesn't seem fair really.

And arresting someone like Ray Gosling for doing the heroic thing and helping his dying lover end the pain and suffering is just plain ridiculous. Especially since by the sounds of his confession it was totally mutual decision.

A great movie from this era is It's My Party with a star studded cast including George Segal, Olivia Newton John, Roddy McDowall, Margaret Chow and Eric Roberts deals with a guy with an AIDS related brain disease which will kill within days and has no cure. He decides t throw a hell of a party and then end his own life before he goes gaga.

The movie also touches on assisted suicide in the era of AIDS of the 80's and is ver poignant and topical to this story.

Grindr on Top Gear

2010-02-18T07:01:00.002+11:00

Unless you have been living under a rock and are gay you know what Grindr is, the totally irreverent Stephen Fry recently showed Jeremy Clarkson Grindr live on Top Gear

It's totally hilarious!

Work is overtaking my life Right Now

2010-02-16T07:46:00.002+11:00

I am swamped by work right now and just mountains of stuff that needs to get done.

However I am looking forward to having a few days off over Mardi Gras in a few weeks time.

So not much else to say really.

Hot Straight Boys at Music Festivals

2010-02-14T08:15:00.003+11:00

Some of the Australian Music Festivals are banning shirtless patrons which is kind of ridiculous, especially when we see some of these straight boys walking around with their shirts off!

Prince Harry's Six Pack

2010-02-08T07:14:00.000+11:00

Prince Harry certainly bulked up while he was in Afghanistan!

Just look at those abs!

do you ever?

2010-02-04T08:08:00.002+11:00

I read a lot of blogs and online journals on a pretty regular basis.

Sometimes I just want to write a comment on a post but I stop myself.

I want to tell the blogger that they are a self absorbed wanker.

But I don't, it's not nice.

But I wish I would, maybe that would make it a bit more fun.

But I am already a big enough bitch and a big pile of contradictions.

Free LCD TV

2010-02-03T13:46:00.002+11:00

just a few weeks to go...

2010-02-03T07:31:00.002+11:00

Some eye candy to start the week

2010-02-01T21:33:00.003+11:00

I have had a pretty full on weekend, building a roof on our downstairs balcony and painting the spare room and was pretty exhausted from all that.

Today has been a really full on day, a new staff member started and I have been battling a really complex project too. I think I have a handle on it finally!

I am pretty damn whacked and am looking forward to watching the grammy awards and being excited for a friend, one of his artists won a Grammy now how cool is that!

Not too bad for an old fart

2010-01-29T20:44:00.003+11:00

DNA magazine is promoting their next party at IVY and yours truly is the image they are using to promote the party.

Not too bad for an old fart I say :)

http://www.dnamagazine.com.au/articles/news.asp?news_id=11251

Some GWIP goodness for Friday TGIF!

2010-01-29T07:22:00.001+11:00

And Now we wait

2010-01-28T07:23:00.002+11:00

After 12 days of the trial the Perry vs Swharzanegger trial has now closed for the time being and we must wait 30 days for final closing statements and for the judge to raise questions.

You can read the live blog of the trial here: http://prop8trialtracker.com/

How has it gone?

What will be the outcome?

The Plaintiffs have made a good case, they have managed to embarrass and ridicule the defendants witnesses quite well.

But at the end of the day it will all come down to the law and nothing else.

Has our side proven that Gays and Lesbians are a suspect class (minority) that requires protection under the Constitution? Have they proven that the ban on same sex marriage was done only through prejudice and animus?

Other than the judge and what he thinks it's anyone's guess.

So now we wait and we should all use our blogs, facebook and twitter accounts to promote the trial and promote equality.

Have you ever wondered...

2010-01-25T11:07:00.003+11:00

Have you ever wondered just how much money has been spent by people arguing to deny equal rights to Gays and Lesbians?

Over the last twenty or so years of court cases, grass root campaigns, mainstream press advertising and lobbying tens if not hundreds of millions of dollars must have been spent trying to deny a simple equality for same sex couples.

It defies belief that such a simple civil right can generate such hatred and opposition amongst so many people that they feel compelled to make this the focus of their lives.

Just imagine if all that money was instead used for something really worthwhile, let's say if the Mormon Church spent the money on helping third world nations get better access to clean drinking water.

With Hawaii about to legalize Civil Unions for same sex couples (a 20 year battle) and the Proposition Trial in California I just can't fathom the money that is spent to discriminate, and most of it either based on lies and fallacy like William Tam's idiotic statements and beliefs.

It just really really pisses me off.

It's all a wedge issue to keep the right wing in power and money

2010-01-22T07:58:00.002+11:00

This quote amused me from the Proposition Trial Tracker website:

But that’s not how the opposition is thinking. See, I don’t think they really believe most of the garbage that they’re spewing out. The right-wing movement to pass Prop 8 — and other anti-gay amendments — are really part of a strategy to keep right-wing conservatives in power. There’s lotsa money to be made keeping the masses distracted by cultural, wedge issues — and to dredge up homophobia and malice against the “other” (in this case, gays) helps propel them politically. These folks have money to burn — where else do you think the National Organization for Marriage gets their money from, and how it just comes out of nowhere?

When it all comes down to it the reason the right wing is so vehemently anti-gay is nothing more than a way to rally support and power.

Look at the inclusion of McCain's Wife and daughter in the NO8t campaign, a republican presidential nominees one wife and daughter support same sex marriage but he doesn't?

The right wing sprouts the Kool Aid and expect people to believe it but they don't actually believe it themselves.

They are playing with our lives and our rights as just a way to keep their power base.

Sure there are lots and lots and lots of people who do believe the hateful things they say, but much of this is based on what the Church and anti-gay community / political leaders say.

I once had a client who point blank told me that she would not let her children be photographed for a children's clothing catalogue because she didn't want gay guys drooling over her young kids.

That old baseless link between pedophilia and homosexuality, it's stupid and insulting

The more I read the more I am horrified

2010-01-21T13:12:00.002+11:00

I read two articles recently that the Catholic Church had authored.

The first in an attempt to force Hawaii to NOT provide civil unions for same sex couples and the second why homosexuals should not be allowed to adopt children.

Both of the articles got my stomach crawling and reminded me just how bigoted and hopelessly outdated the Catholic Church is.

In the first article the ridiculous argument yet again that marriage is about procreation and raising children.

The second article stating it is not good for a child in a same sex family, again going against ALL properly peer reviewed studies which have found there is no difference.

But my favorite two gems in the second article were the statement that homosexuals should practice celibacy (yeah right with all of those kiddy fiddlers in the Catholic Church - which incidentally is suggested to be caused by their struggles with chastity) and the second statement which makes me so mad:

it would be wrong to ignore the possibility that a particular homosexual couple wishes to adopt children for the perverse purpose of using them for child pornography, sexual abuse or prostitution.

Yep that ridiculous and proven wrong statement that gay guys (or women) are kiddy fiddlers.

You just have to ask yourself how in this day and age such totally baseless statements are accepted as fact.

When you think about it the Church and other opponents of same sex marriage and same sex equality in general are using baseless scare tactics appealing to the masses who hold deeply held distrust of the gay community.

We lack as a gay community a normalized visibility yeah sure some parts of the community are visible, but quite often it's the extremes. You know like the OTT campness of Elton John or the stereotype of Will and Grace.

Rather than just the normalized visibility of gay couples getting on with their lives, buying houses, working etc.

I strongly believe that if the Catholic Church wants to be involved in political debate like this they then forgo their Tax Free Exemption status.

There is supposed to be such as thing as separation of state and church, but I guess since the Catholic Church has so much political power no political party could ever rescind their tax free status.

A conundrum

2010-01-21T07:30:00.000+11:00

With all the hoopla over the Perry vs Schwarzangger trial in California an interesting situation has been encountered in Oakland.

A board member of a city owned theatre is due to be reappointed for another three year term.

Problem is he was one of the singularly largest donors for Proposition 8, donating a whopping $25,000 to the cause of denying same sex marriage rights.

Should he be reinstated or should he lose his role on the board?

Legally he has done nothing wrong, he donated money to a public cause, but this public cause is potentially unconstitutional and serves only to take away rights of the citizens.

It's a hard call really, Oakland has an anti discrimination policy that outlaws discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Whilst technically supporting proposition 8 does not legally discriminate.

It's a moral issue though.

As one commenter on the article said

He would not even be considered for the board if he advocated revoking some of the civil rights of African Americans or Jews.

By supporting a campaign against the rights of gay people he has violated the community standards of the Bay Area

I must admit I agree, since this is a publicly appointed position and his donation goes against the values and expectations of the community then he should not be reinstated

What do you think?

My mind is elsewhere...

2010-01-20T11:11:00.002+11:00

Even though it's barely past the middle of January, tomorrow will be the end of the third week back at work.

It's been both slow and busy the last three months, slow because a lot of clients have still been on holidays and or not really doing much.

Busy because we have some large projects which are ongoing that have taken up a huge amount of my time and focus.

But I am finding my mind wandering to this resort.

The Hualalai Four Seasons Kona on the big Island of Hawaii.

We went there a couple of years ago and I have to say that all in all it is the best resort I have ever been to, it shits all over Hayman Island which we have been to several times.

Everything is just so perfectly done and the setting and service is just superb.

I could really do with a week away in a place like this lazing around the pool, reading, swimming and eating.

Unfortunately there are no major holiday plans for us this year, we are tightening our belts to pay more of the mortgage off as quickly as we can and certainly reigning in our spending habits of massive holidays past.

The last time we stayed in Hawaii it was a work related 'holiday' so someone else paid the almost $1000 USD a night not us.

Maybe a board meeting of my company needs to happen in Hawaii...

Some eye candy for a Tuesday

2010-01-19T06:41:00.001+11:00

It's a Tuesday and I am already up and at em working reading emails from overnight and planning the day.

Some very cute eye candy from GWIP to start the day!

My First Soft Coral

2010-01-18T15:19:00.003+11:00

Over the weekend I purchased my first soft coral for my aquarium, a cute little number in the picture.

I wanted something that looks kind of like an anemone, but without the ability the wander around the tank.

It's a curious little bugger, it seems to be 'exploring' it's surroundings quite vigorously indeed!

I wanted to get get a pair of black clownfish but the store didn't have any pairs and I was not keen on getting two that may not pair well.

So that's on the cards for next weekend instead.

Yummy Black Ink

2010-01-14T14:17:00.002+11:00

As always from GWIP

The Constitutional Challenge

2010-01-13T15:01:00.002+11:00

I think by now most people are aware of the high stakes case that arguing Proposition 8 violates the U.S. Constitution's Equal Protection and Due Process Clauses and that it discriminates and makes same-sex couples second-class citizens.

Many are looking to this case as being on the same level of importance as Roe Vs Wade or the overturning of segregation laws in the US.

I find it fascinating that the lawyers representing the case (for the constitutional change) are the lawyers who argued on opposite sides in the case that bought George Bush to power in the disputed 2000 elections.

It's expected that the case will end up in the US Supreme Court and if found in their favor will make it unconstitutional for any state to legally ban the recognition of same sex marriage.

The first and most interesting legal battle is the right to broadcast the proceedings over the Internet through Youtube.

It was originally allowed but then, the opponents of the case have appealed and we must wait until Wednesday to find out whether broadcasting the trial is legal or not.

The opponents argument for NOT broadcasting the trial is that witnesses in the case would be unfairly targeted and harassed for their 'beliefs'.

I say tough shit!

If you want to stand up and attack someone's rights in a court of law you give up your right to privacy.

The real argument is that the opponents of this case want to keep the case as quiet as possible so as to stifle debate. Sure they also might be worried that witnesses who are anti-gay may be harassed, but so be it.

After Proposition 8 was passed people who donated money and publicly supported the bill were harassed by gay groups. I laughed at this article which detailed the harassment of proponents of Proposition 8 - which 'included at least 1 death threat'.

Oh baby!

What about all the people who have been murdered for being gay? Or beaten up to within an inch of their lives? Or those people that get fired when their boss finds out they are gay?

Matthew Shepherd anyone?

Give me a break!

I wear my sexuality as plain as the day I am born, so don't give me bullshit about not broadcasting the trial because some witnesses may get harassed.

If you don't want to get harassed then give people their EQUAL RIGHTS and stop encouraging discrimination and hatred.

The case itself is complex and a very dangerous play for gay rights, if it fails and the US Supreme Court upholds that Proposition 8 is constitutional it will destroy any chance of same sex marriage for the foreseeable future.

Not just will it send gay rights backwards, BUT it could also legitimize discrimination against same sex people on a Federal level.

The case hinges on:

Proving that Proposition 8 violates the U.S. Constitution's equal protection clause by targeting gays and lesbians without any government justification for excluding them from California's marriage rights.

The opponents of the case are going to have to back up their claim that the state should reserve marriage to heterosexual couples mainly because of what they say is the procreative purpose behind marriage. - source

Mind you the opponents are playing a dangerous game as well, the main argument being used is that marriage is about producing children, which could backfire on them as well.

There is no real chance that the court will find that marriages in which couples are not able to procreate, (through age, disability etc) are illegal but it's an interesting thought.

I have been reading a lot of online articles on the case both from a pro and against perspective. The main thrust of the opponents seems to be all about religious freedoms, IE they will be forced to alter or change their religious beliefs.

Kind of a stupid argument in so far that up until the 1960s and 70s discrimination against women and the black community was a deeply held religious belief. Even apartheid invoked the religious beliefs of its proponents.

It is widely expected that this trial will go in favor of the plaintiffs, and even the defendants pretty much believe this too and are saving their ammunition for the US Supreme Court.

This is going to be a long and very drawn out process and I am pretty sure we are going to see HUGE protests and huge amounts of hand wringing and cries of 'what about the children'.

Some interesting articles are:

http://edition.cnn.com/2010/TECH/01/12/proposition8.youtube/index.html

http://www.montereyherald.com/news/ci_14160707?nclick_check=1

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/paul-hogarth/prop-8-trial-starts-today_b_418325.html

http://www.lgbtpov.com/2010/01/is-nom-conceding-the-federal-prop-8-trial-prop-8-side-wants-a-delay/

http://www.churchexecutive.com/news.asp?N_ID=2333

http://www.bpnews.net/BPnews.asp?ID=32020

http://www.churchexecutive.com/news.asp?N_ID=2333#comment

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/01/12/BATV1BH727.DTL&tsp=1

No Pants Subway day in New York

2010-01-12T15:45:00.002+11:00

Pity there were not more cuter boys, but those legs are sexy!

Article

Weekend of excesses

2010-01-11T14:49:00.002+11:00

I am feeling particularly average today with a monster hang over from two nights of parties.

As the boy said this morning maybe I should have drunk more water with the wine yesterday afternoon / evening.

*sigh*

If only I had actually done that I would probably not feel as though I am struggling through the day.

You know at the time it didn't feel like I was drinking a lot, but I guess hot day + not a lot of food + no water = get drunk quickly and hangover in the morning.

The Start of my Aquarium

2010-01-07T07:34:00.002+11:00

I finally started my new marine aquarium after talking to every person I knew with experience and reading volumes of ideas.

You can see from the picture that I seriously misjudged how much water I needed to fill the tank and I need to get another 10 liters at least!

But I have tried to accelerate the whole process by using salt water from both a friend's salt water aquarium and salt water from the store that are both laden with live bacteria already.

When I placed everything in their with the live rock and the water settled into the filter area I realised that I needed a whole lot more water.

But the store was closed and my friends couldn't get me any water that night, but I was lucky enough that one of my friends lent me an air aerator to create some water flow until I can get to the store this afternoon for more water.

I love the live rock that I purchased, one piece in the bottom left hand corner is really cool, with lots and lots of natural colour and algae!

Once I have the rest of the water I will move around the rock until I am satisfied with the 'look' and position of the tank I need to wait about 2 - 4 weeks before I can have the water tested and start thinking about fish and some soft coral.

I have had a huge amount of suggestions from experienced friends have settled on a soft coral that looks a bit like an anemone, a pair of clown fish and maybe a salt water shrimp of some sort as the maximum that the tank could handle.

But that's a few weeks off before I can even contemplate that step.

So for now it's started and I need to be patient and wait until the tank is ready for fish and corals.

The beagle has been paying some attention to the tank, but I think it's more because of the sound of the aerator and she hasn't tried to actually interfere with it just look at it so far.

More Twins Goodness

2010-01-06T07:30:00.000+11:00

After my post the other on Twins doing porn together I found this cool site:

Nude Twins - http://nudetwins.blogspot.com/ NSFW

Full of hot twins in glorious pictures.

The two above are Max and Thom Evans two famous Scottish Footballers (who in the blog above show more than just their prowess with footballs).

I happened to see a bit of the two Bel Ami twins doing actual full penetration sex with each other and I have to say, although it was hot, knowing they were twins is a tad off putting.

Sure the whole gay fantasy of sleeping with twins is a pretty popular one in many gay guys minds, but does the fantasy extend to them actually touching and having sex with each other?

Personally I think it is one taboo too far.

I certainly don't mind watching twins jerk off in each other's presence or cavorting around naked in a photo shoot like Max and Thom Evans that's just hot.

But anything more is crossing a line I think

Nature's Joke

2010-01-05T19:14:00.002+11:00

Jonah Falcon officially the guy with the world's largest penis (13.5") can't get work and is no living with his mother.

Um er ouch!

I have a few suggestions for him:

1) get some excercise

2) call a porn company

3) get a life!

and here is a link to a NSFW picture of said penis

Extremely Dangerous

2010-01-05T07:30:00.001+11:00

Ireland has enacted anti blasphemy laws as of 1st January which make it an offense to blaspheme.

I find this an extremely dangerous law.

Whilst religious discrimination should always be outlawed, blaspheming is a religious issue and NOT a legal issue.

Authors such as Dawkins and his book the God Delusion are considered blasphemous.

Whilst Ireland's Gay and Lesbian Rights equality has certainly moved forward over the last few years, legally outlawing the right of someone to question religious beliefs is a seriously warped law, especially in a so called secular country.

Under the letter of the law a person saying that God does not exist is blaspheming.

Whether you do or do not believe in God is a personal choice and this law is a dangerous law indeed.

Back to work

2010-01-04T06:38:00.002+11:00

It's back t work today and back to the grindstone of moving forward with work.

I have behaved myself well over the break and in the main did not respond to work emails, requests etc. Sure there was a bit of work but I limited what I did to only urgent or emergency requests for clients.

I did however do many of the things I planned to do over the break:

Read several books on my Kindle (yes I love the device)

Went to a few parties

Spent lots of times with friends etc

Talking of friends we had a friend stay with us from the States who left yesterday, it was so great seeing him and sad when he left. Even the beagle was upset after he left and spent the afternoon and evening moping around :)

So it's a new year, new challenges and new excitement at work.

Seriously though I would have liked another week off...

Moving Forward

2010-01-02T08:56:00.002+11:00

It's traditional at this time of year for most people to set New Year's Resolutions, but as I have written in past years I don't subscribe to the whole concept of setting goals only at the start of the year.

I firmly believe that you should be setting goals and objectives all of the time.

The new year isn't some magical crossover that gives us a magic wand to change things, I suppose that's why so many people then break their new years resolutions within weeks / days etc.

Instead at this time of year I reflect on what I have achieved over the last year and what I have missed or how my goals and objectives have changed over time.

I break my goals into three areas, my big long terms ambitions and goals, my business and work goals and my personal day to day goals.

My big key long term goal is to be totally financially secure and have a comfortable life.

But there are other small incremental goals and things I want to do / achieve.

I think my big thing is to find balance in my life, I tend to let work encompass me and forget how to relax. A big part of getting a Kindle for Christmas was so I could encourage myself to read much more, as I find it both relaxing and stimulating.

But I have in the past tended only to read when on holidays.

Having not been to the gym in months and months I have been feeling the need to start doing regular exercise again. Even when I was busy as all hell early in the year I still found time to go to the gym , but then as the year wore on I found myself working more and not making the time to go and exercise.

I would think to myself that unless I was going to go religiously to the gym then it wasn't worth going at all.

I think in retrospect this was a very bad concept.

So I am changing my thinking about this and realising that i just need to go and make some time, even if it means that I am sometimes just getting there once or twice a week and doing some very basic cardio.

I did start smoking again this year after a three year break and every day I wish that I hadn't started again but have not had the 'guts' to stop even though I kick myself every day or multiple times a day 'wanting' to stop.

From my past experience when I stopped I know that I have to accept that for about a week I will be in semi club cuckoo land, and be unable to concentrate on much, but then it just gets better and much easier.

You might think that this sounds just like a new years resolution, but it's not, January is a good month to change some things, because I can have the bit of luxury of not having to be totally on the top of my game for the first few weeks because most of our clients are still on holidays.

So I have the perfect opportunity to allow myself some leeway.

I am pretty obsessive about things and the smoking has become obsessive rather than a habit, and this like many things in my life is part of the balance i need to find.

I must admit that as I think about stopping I do get apprehensive and a very little bit panicked, but I know that's just a normal physical reaction and not something that should consume me.

I just need to channel that energy, and at the end of the day that mild feeling of anxiety / panic is nothing more than energy that can be tapped, for other things.

There are lots of goals that I set last year during the year that I have achieved some minor some major.

I had promised myself and so many people that I would finish my little novella before the end of the year and I did, and for that I have been rewarded with countless emails from people reading the story. Every email and comment is my little reward ad motivation to achieve more and keep to my goals.

There have been some goals that have been totally missed, some due to circumstance, some due to a change in what I have wanted, and yet some because I totally forgot about them.

The coming year is going to be tough in some respects, my mother's dementia is advancing more rapidly than we would have expected. And this is going to be particularly challenging for all the family.

But this must not become an excuse to not achieve my goals, nor should it be an excuse to put things off that I should be doing, like I have done with the gym last year.

Mind you goals and objectives have to be both achievable and realistic, and the small goals have to be part of the foundations to achieve the big ambitions and goals too.

One big thing I started last year and am continuing into this year is be a little but more fearless and take bigger (although) calculated risks.

I am not the biggest risk taker and in almost every way I am very conservative, but if you are too conservative in things especially business you tend not to make huge strides forward.

In my business gals from last year I took some good calculated risks, this year coming there are going to be some even bigger calculated risks, I am really looking forward to this.

These are all building on last years things, some worked out really well whilst others never really worked.

But that's the result of a risk really isn't it.

I have a sort of month by month calender of stuff I want to achieve that I update and read regularly. It's not printed on paper it's a text file on my computer and I review, analyse, revise and update it every few weeks.

These are my goals moving forward to help me get to where I want to go.

I find this so much better than setting unrealistic goals at new years and then not being able to achieve them.

Almost the end of the decade

2009-12-30T13:25:00.002+11:00

With one full day and a half left of the decade I am not sure whether I am happy, nostalgic or just plain disinterested.

I am looking forward to next year and have started to formulate a plan, goals and objectives.

All small things leading up to big things.

we have a friend staying with us for a couple of days starting today so not sure if I will have much time to myself.

The beagle has already voiced her disapproval of someone taking over her room by plonking herself right in the middle of the sofa bed in the spare room.

I am sure she will be fine though as the friend is a huge dog person and has a hungarian pointer that has the run of his house too.

It's finished

2009-12-27T20:35:00.002+11:00

I can hardly believe it.

I have finally finished writing my novella Life at a Private School which I have been writing and off for the better part of ten years

I am not going to put it online tonight though I am going to wait till tomorrow as I am exhausted since I have been writing since ten o'clock this morning

So there we are

Stay tuned for the last six chapters.

Christmas and holidays

2009-12-27T09:03:00.002+11:00

I am happy that the main part of Christmas is now over, it was a huge undertaking having both our families over for lunch with all the trimmings.

By the time everyone left I was bloody exhausted from the preparation and actual day.

I have been pretty well behaved the last couple of days and have done virtually no work, instead reading on my new Kindle, reading news and tech articles that I have missed and continuing on converting the media collection.

I am loving the Kindle it is so easy to use and reading is pretty much exactly the same as a normal book.

I have worked out that it's easier (far easier) to search and look for books on the Amazon website rather than using the store on the Kindle.

I intend to keep the low key not do much for the next couple of days, I do find it very difficult to stop my brain from working and even though I am not putting words to paper (or screen) for work I am thinking and rethinking about next year and also reviewing the last year work wise.

It's a curse that I can't stop my mind whirring away but at the same time when I do stop like this and I don't have large deliverables it does allow me to think about some goals, problems and solutions in quite new light.

I saw the picture above on GWIP and I just loved it!

Still building the media collection

2009-12-24T07:30:00.000+11:00

As a key part of my digital home media strategy (doesn't that sound geeky!) I am converting all our DVDs to Digital mpv format for streaming from iTunes to the Apple TV.

We don't have that many physical DVDs, we stopped buying them a couple of years ago instead downloading them on iTunes to rent or own.

So we only have about 50 or so DVDs in total.

After much searching online I have found the best application for converting and 'backing up' my DVDs.

I use handbrake which is a totally free app that be downloaded here.

The only issue I have had really is the time taken to convert each DVD which takes about one and a half hours each.

Years ago I converted all our CDs to digital so we could use them on our iPods and I now have boxes of CDs sitting in storage from then, and I suppose once I have finished this process I will end up with another box of DVDs in storage as well.

There are still some significant legal issues surrounding this, technically even backing up your CDs or DVDs like this is illegal, but I certainly don't share the files with anyone and they are in my mind my own backups.

As for the quality of the conversions they are pretty damn good. I choose to convert to the maximum quality I can do, I end up with 2gb or there about for each file, but I would rather have as much quality picture and audio.

I reckon it will take me about 10 days to convert the collection over and I am looking for another 2 x 1 terabyte drives, so they can be mirrored in case of hard drive failure.

Not such a great consumer experience

2009-12-22T07:53:00.002+11:00

My new Kindle arrived yesterday and I very excitedly ripped it out of its recyclable box and turned it on.

Not having any time in the office to actually play with it, I just plugged it in and let it charge up fully.

By the time I got home after a very hectic day of dealing with a mountain of client requests to get done before Christmas I finally had some time to play.

Now when the boy received his Kindle it was pre-registered and he instantly connected up to the wireless network and everything worked.

Mine on the other hand refused, and I mean refused to show any wireless signal.

After an hour of Google Searches and no closer to discovering the problem I finally rang the support line - In the United States.

Well it was a US international number but I dare-say it was downtown bangalore India with the first person I spoke to.

She was very polite and unhelpful really, she didn't understand a work I was saying and kept on telling me to reset the Kindle.

Yeah sure I told her, I had tried that three times already.

When she realised that she couldn't help I was redirected to the actual technical support department. At least this guy spoke better english and helped me download the latest software and download it.

Since this process would take ten minutes and he promised me this was the problem I hung up.

So after waiting ten minutes while the Kindle did it's thing and upgraded the software I tried again.

Still no wireless signal.

So ANOTHER call to the Internal call centre in Bangalore.

Again I had to deal with an operator whose english was probably as good as my Russian, IE non existent.

Then another 15 minute wait for the actual technical support people.

This time we tried changing carriers a few times and still nothing.

So we started the process of having a new Kindle sent, then magically as if someone in the technical support division had just found my Kindle was not actually enabled on their network it started to work.

So after about 30 minutes in total on the phone and a good two hours playing with the thing it finally worked.

I suspect that Amazon have been shipping the damn things without registering them on their network and that was the problem, but who really knows?

It's not a great consumer experience, every single Apple product I have purchased has pretty much worked out of the box and worked seamlessly.

I am a technical person at heart so generally I can do Google searches on something and find the problem but this time there really was a lack of available support online which is very frustrating.

What I did learn about the Kindle is that there are a huge number of hidden diagnostics and setting changes.

For example if you go to the settings menu and just type 311 it will show you all the available wireless carriers and you can select one from the list, or as I was instructed to, try each one to see if one will work.

At the end of the day though I do love the device, I downloaded a book last night and started reading it. The quality of the screen is just fantastic!

It's so easy to read and use.

Sure there is a whole lot of stuff that I have to explore on it, but I will do this in time.

One feature that I hadn't thought about was the fact that it can be used as a usb storage device too, there may only be 1.5 gb on the device but that's enough for some simple file storage and transfer.

One aspect that I don't yet like and I have to do a lot more research on this is the shop on the Kindle, but I suspect it's easier to go to the Amazon Kindle store online and review, purchase books etc.

A small feature I do like is most books offer at least a 1 - 2 chapter sample so you can review the book (kind of) before buying it.

The boy and I are using the same account for both Kindles which means we can share books between us which is useful!

So once I have finished the next few days of intense work I will site down and start relaxing and reading.

Are twins in porn wrong or right?

2009-12-21T07:48:00.001+11:00

There seems to be a whole lot of identical twins (and triplets) doing gay porn right now, whether it be the Visctoni Triplets to Matt & Dave Studding from Next Door Male seen above.

Sure they look hot but it's a bit weird actually photographing two brothers in a porn jerk off.

Is this enticing and erotic or is it weird and wrong?

Following on from this is a really interesting thread over on Queerclick about two twins in a relationship at college.

The article is strangely erotic but disturbing at the same time, sure I know twins often have a strong bond than family, friends, lovers etc but I just don't know.

The erotic fantasies of having sex with brothers / twins is very prevalent in the gay world. But I have never actually met twins who admit to sleeping with their twin.

Some have admitted to 'experimenting' you know showing each other etc when they are growing up, but most twins tend to forge their own identities as individuals.

So what do people think about this, and should the gay porn industry be promoting it?

DNA Pool Party on Saturday

2009-12-21T07:27:00.002+11:00

On the weekend we went to the 2nd DNA Magazine Pool Party at IVY.

It was an absolute blast!

Some of the highlights were:

The multiple DNA models running around in speedos, underwear and towels giving out candy canes and generally being HOT!
Chatting with one of my favorite photographers Pedro Virgil - and can I just say that Pedro's boyfriend is just hot!
Swimming in that glorious pool which was the perfect warm temperature to float around in and get silly with good friends.

But with good comes ridiculous too:

Never stop the music half way through the party for twenty minutes to give out lame prizes.
If you are going to give out DVDs as presents please don't stereotype us by giving out movies like Shirley Valentine, the first wives club etc. Give away more underwear and speeds from one of the sponsers.

Also spotted cavorting in the pool in a sexy pair of Speedos the blogger Shannon Boh!

All in all though I love the venue and I loved the day lots and lots of fun.

Amazing Transformation

2009-12-20T07:30:00.000+11:00

The former underwear model stopped exercising and ate junk food to balloon from 80kg to 120kg in five months so that he could better understand his obese clients.

He returned to the gym in July and after a couple of anxious months where his weight stayed unchanged, the kilos started dropping.

Source

I find the day 14 picture to be just so amazing, within 14 days of no exercise and bad eating look at that gut! And when you calculate the weight gain it's only about 4 and a half kgs of fat in less than 11 days.

It is just truly scary to look at what a former underwear model can do if you stop working out and eating badly.

I do wonder whether he will ever actually get back to that amazingly cut body that he had in the first picture.

What's really interesting is that even though he had a huge amount of extra skin to cover that fat around is body the skin itself seems to have pulled back in.

All in all this is awe inspiring for anyone who wants to trim down or get fit.

Yeah sure he is a Fitness Trainer and can spend hours a day / week at the gym, but if this does not convince you that you are truly what you eat and do, I can't imagine anything that will convince you.

It sure makes me want to get straight back out to the gym and tone up again.

My problems is not that I am fat, I am not I am quite a good size, but I am unhealthy and since not going to the gym for months have lost all the extra muscle I put on earlier in the year.

An Aquarium?

2009-12-19T07:30:00.000+11:00

A friend is 'downsizing' and wanted to get rid of his small aquarium over the weekend so I immediately put my hand up to swap the aquarium for a bottle of sparkling shiraz.

Now I must admit I know virtually nothing about fish, aquariums or aquaculture.

Actually let me rephrase that I do know nothing.

I have always wanted an aquarium but the closest I came was a Siamese Fighting Fish a couple of years ago we called blinky, but blinky died and we wended up with the beagle LOL.

I am busy doing as much research as I can on salt water aquariums at the moment (well as much time as I have anyway).

I am in no real hurry to get the thing set up and done, I want to do it right, and since the first step of cycling the aquarium with Live Rock can take 4 weeks or even longer of not done right I want to get it right.

In my mind I have a vision of a set up like the one above, but I can count up to 6 invertebrates and that could be a huge undertaking.

I think at the moment my vision is for one sea anemone, two clown fish and some complementary small fish / snails etc.

With some nice aqua scaping and live rock formation I think I could do it.

This will take me a while but I will take pictures and periodically post them as I go along!

The true definition of a twink is...

2009-12-18T07:30:00.000+11:00

The quirks of online advertising

2009-12-17T09:11:00.002+11:00

I was reading a right wing news article on the DC Gay Marriage vote this morning and apart from laughing at the:

impose a measure that will damage the most vulnerable in the city

Not really sure who the most vulnerable are that will be damaged by allowing same sex marriage, but I digress.

The banner advertising on the site is served up based on the demographics of the readers right?

This makes advertising somewhat relevant to the readers.

So from this I can surmise that the readers are overweight women with bad teeth.

There were no fewer than 5 advertisments aimed at women to lose their belly fat, and two advertisements for making grotty disgusting teeth white again.

But even funnier than that Google's own ad servers also included a link for Gay and Lesbian Immigration Services.

Oh the irony!

So after the major market of fat ugly women who are 'concerned' that 'the gays' are going to ruin their lives, we have gay men looking to settle in America.

I love irony!

I truly do.

He's Alive

2009-12-17T07:30:00.000+11:00

A couple of months ago one of my contract employees went missing and has not been heard from since.

At the time I tried ringing, emailing, checking his twitter, linked in a Facebook.

For months there was no activity on anything, and after I got over my extreme annoyance I started to wonder what happened.

Some of the options I thought about:

Scheduled in a mental institution;

On the run from debt collectors;

Dead;

Accident;

On a huge Crack bender or similar.

I still have not had any form of communication from him , BUT he has stared twittering again, so I can only assume he is alive and did some sort of runner or had some incident.

According to my contract with him he owes me money for not reaching his target for the month, so in the next day or so he will be getting an invoice for the contract rebate.

I am pretty amazed really, if he did have some sort of accident and was out of the loop for months you would think he would contact his employers and explain to them what happened once he was OK.

Just a bit of hotness

2009-12-16T14:30:00.000+11:00

Can you see yours?

2009-12-16T07:59:00.000+11:00

MORE than a third of Australian men cannot see their genitalia when they look down naked, a survey has found. The poll of 1000 men was commissioned by the weight-loss company Jenny Craig and reported that 38 per cent of men found that their bits were obscured by their bellies when they looked south. But digits can be tricky - the study's numbers, that is.

source

Updates to a busy week

2009-12-15T08:15:00.003+11:00

The next week leading up to Christmas is franticly busy for me.

Loads and loads of client work and projects to get launched all before Christmas, and a whole lot of new clients to train on using our software.

I am very much looking forward to closing the office over Christmas and New Years and chilling for a while.

In light of trying to chill, I have decided that like the boy I will get an Amazon Kindle eBook reader. I love reading and end up when I have time off buying 4 - 6 books a week which is expensive and then you have to store them somewhere as well.

The whole ability to share multiple Kindles on the one account is a great bonus too. Whilst we don't alway read the same books, it does make it a lot more cost effective to share the books we would like to read.

And with the ROI based on less then $10 USD an ebook compared to about $30 USD a normal book you break even on about 15 books, which in my mind is an excellent ROI!

Sure I am a total gadget freak, but I am a judicious gadget freak and generally only buy gadgets which solve some sort of problem.

Talking of which it's now been a good month since we installed the Apple TV at home as our multi media device and I have to say I am totally in love with it.

As the boy and I have discussed it isn't revolutionary as such, we could do most of the things we do now with the old server. The real difference is in how easy it is do do everything now with the setup.

Because we still have the old server connected to the network and we are actually streaming all Network attached media and the hard drive size on the Apple TV is kind of irrelevant.

I am definitely thinking of getting an older 40gb Apple TV and installing it in our bedroom with a spare screen so we can watch movies (porn) in bed LOL.

With technology and gadgets I like my technology to be 'invisible' I don't want to be confronted by it I want it hidden away to make my life easier, leading edge not bleeding edge.

Was wondering what happened to Brent Corrigan

2009-12-14T11:31:00.000+11:00

I was wondering what had happened to Brent Corrigan, his blog had not been updated in well over a month and from prior posts it was obvious the site was going the way of the dodo.

But I did manage to find his twitter account and news that a new site is on the way!

Cool!

The picture above was taken by brent a while back and it is just so hot I had to paste it here for everyone to see. Read the caption on his Twitpics it's very cool.

I like Brent, he's a kid with a life so far that many people never experience, and I am hoping his new site will allow him the freedom to be more open and himself on line.

Just in time for summer

2009-12-13T10:07:00.003+11:00

Just in time for summer I have finally finished the outdoor lounge on the roof. The benches were made at the end of last year, but it's taken me till now to get the material for the cushions.

We threw our first summer party yesterday and the new lounge was definitely the highlight with the spa the second most popular feature.

And as you can see the beagle is very happy on the new lounge too.

EXception eye candy from Guys With iPhones!

2009-12-11T07:30:00.000+11:00

I don't know what's been going on over at Guys With iPhones but there have been some damn hotties of late!

New Swimmers

2009-12-10T07:30:00.001+11:00

two weeks ago I took advantage of the Andrew Christian 99 cent sale and purchased three pairs of bikini speedos. The shipping was more than the three pairs, but still almost 120 USD less than retail!

They arrived yesterday and OMG they are sexy as shit!

They are briefer than I am used to and I need to get a new tan that covers up the old speedo tan LOL

But now all I need to decide is which color to wear to the DNA Pool Party at Ivy next weekend.

Or maybe I could take all three and do costume changes?

Busy week

2009-12-09T14:48:00.002+11:00

Can you believe it's just over two weeks till Christmas?

Where the hell has this year gone already?

I am desperately trying to get a whole slew of clients launched and delivered before the break so I am nose down ass up (and not in that way)

And of course Hump day wouldn't be hump day without something to look at to hump!

The new sports performance drug - Viagra

2009-12-07T14:24:00.004+11:00

Viagra is going to be offered to the English Cricket team as a legal performance enhancing drug.

Now the only bats on the field won't just be the cricket bats LOL

Seriously though I am not sure I would want to be playing an international sport after having a viagra, because I am sure I would end up with a raging boner on field!

source

Sometimes I wish...

2009-12-07T11:30:00.002+11:00

With the circus of Australian Politics in full swing again, and the Federal Opposition voting in as their leader a religious nut job, I sometimes wish we lived in a more socialist system.

Not that I want socialism per se, just a utopian political system that could actually get things done.

The problem of course with our current political structure is that no long term big and I mean big steps forward seem to be made.

Forget Climate Change for a moment it's just too much of a hot potato.

Think in terms of infrastructure and health care.

In Australia we have multiple levels of government funded healthcare with competing interests, some overlap and lots and lots of duplication of services.

The split of funding between local councils for aged care services such as meals on wheels etc, your local GP being federally funded while your hospitals are state funded.

A long time ago many light years away I worked in the health system in Health IT / Informatics and saw from an insiders perspective just how complex the health system is.

Going backwards and forwards between medical appointments with my mother has reminded me just how inefficient and problematic our healthcare system is.

Each time she saw a new specialist, they would get a written letter from the referring DR, half the time the new DR would ask the same questions as the last and even worse would order the same diagnostic tests.

Then they would have to start their own health record that they create on her because we have no universal healthcare record accessible by all health practitioners.

But not just the lack of sharing of test results etc, there is a general lack of consistency or management of care.

My mother's GP tries to be the one in the loop on all of these things, but because a GP is paid by the Federal Government for the actual time they see a patient unless the GP is a good GP they are not going to manage the care properly.

The Hospitals are starved of funds and facilities for two reasons,

1) The cost of healthcare is skyrocketing,

2) No one politically wants to actually spend the billions of dollars required to fix the failing infrastructure.

Sure this is all high level utopian stuff and it's a simplistic view on the problem, but at the core of the problem is when politicians are only in power for a 4 year term there is little impetus to embark on a program that ay take twenty years to actually fix and could just be a money pit with little results for ten years.

Personally I believe very strongly that ALL healthcare should be managed federally, sure you can have local and regional management, that's important.

But we need to get rid of the competition for funding between different parts of the healthcare system.

It's ridiculous that GPs and hospitals are funded by totally different levels of government and have totally different political machinations.

In NSW we have multiple different Area Health Services which manage different hospitals, guess what most of them have different procurements systems, different HR systems, different systems full stop. Each with their own costs and own problems.

If banks did that for each 'region' of branches they would be losing money hand over fist through the mere inefficiencies.

I understand that there is no one solution that fits all problems, but did you know that in Australia we can't even agree on a standard version of what an Electronic healthcare record should look like?

Sure there are huge privacy implications for the Health Care Record and gay men have a valid privacy concern. Technically we don;t even have a standard way of identifying each person in the health care system across australia, the medicare number is kind of it and there have been pushes over the years to link their with a an electronic health care record.

But privacy advocates have quashed this as big brother being able to track us etc.

So it comes down to political will to actually change the system and make a system that actually works, but with politicians only on power for four year terms the really really hard and controversial issues never get addressed properly and no one will make a stand.

We as citizens demand superb health care and bemoan the state of our public hospitals, but then in the same breath we jump up and down at the outrageous claims of lack of privacy, potential discrimination etc.

It's about time for us to realize if we want a superb health care system we also have to make some choices and draw a line in the sand.

In a utopian world we would have:

Standardized Electronic Health Care Record - that we as consumers controlled who saw what;

Centralized services for the simple stuff like, procurement, HR, finance etc

One overarching government department which linked all health care together.

But of course we live in the world we live in, with no real progress being made because many of the choices to be made are difficult for the masses to actually get their head around, and so the masses get whipped up by the media sensationlism -

Guess what just like Barrack Obama's health care plan.

*Sigh*

very cool safe sex ad

2009-12-04T17:01:00.000+11:00

mmmmmmmm

2009-12-04T10:35:00.000+11:00

Now that's a body!

HOT!

2009-12-03T07:30:00.000+11:00

Conversations with my mother

2009-12-02T17:57:00.002+11:00

My Mother's health has been improving nicely, the extreme anxiety and depression have now pretty much all but passed.

The 'mood' altering medications IE the anti-depressants have done wonders and she is a lot happier.

The memory however is deteriorating. I tend to notice it more than I did before, putting much of 'confusion' down to just Mum being Mum and at times not wanting to discuss things.

A few weeks back I took her to the 'geriatric specialist' for the follow up of the formal dementia assessment. Even though she had been to this doctor less than two weeks before she had no recollection of it, which was rather telling in itself.

We all knew the outcome before hand but the diagnosis was confirmed as advanced dementia most likely caused by the degeneration of her vascular system. Whilst the cognitive tests are generally very good the clinical diagnosis is based on parts of the brain 'shrinking' which is a sure sign of the disease.

We were also told that dad, whilst seemingly very forgetful has only mild or early signs of dementia.

Over the last couple of weeks I noticed a pattern that up until recently I hadn't really seen before.

When my parents are together and my mother gets confused or forgetful, my father will jump in with a totally unrelated story or anecdote, it's usually something inane or silly and quite often about a child hood dog or situation.

I realized that he subconsciously tries to minimize my mother's confusion by interjecting. It's certainly not conscious on his behalf, and half the time he isn't really able to follow the conversation or train of thought himself.

It's just ingrained behavior that he does.

But with my mother for a while it has been obvious that complex reasoning escapes her and has for some time.

These days it's just easier not to enter in conversations with her where she will get confused, because that causes anxiety.

Most conversations with my mother will involve her telling me the same thing multiple times, and half the time even if you do tell her something its variable whether she will actually remember.

My father rang the office today so my mother could ask me for the boy's parents address so she could send a Christmas card to them. I did remind her that she would see them on Christmas Day so a card wasn't necessary, I wasn't sure whether she remembered or not.

In the course of the couple of minutes conversation where I told her I was at work working, she repeatably asked me what I was doing.

Each time I told her I was at work working away.

A few moments later the same question, but with some variation in theme, then at the end of the conversation she asked me why I was at home.

*sigh*

From what I have read about this type of disease it doesn't progress in a steady fashion, she can be stable for a while and then there will be a big change in her cognitive state of mind.

I am pretty pragmatic I suppose about it all, and so long as she is happy and not upset, anxious or depressed we can take each day as it comes.

Some days are good with her and she sounds on top of the world, whilst others like this morning are a little bit more difficult.

Conversations with my mother are both entertaining and frustrating, the mother I know is still there but day by day I can feel it slipping away.

A bureaucratic Christmas!

2009-12-02T15:01:00.001+11:00

Click to enlarge!